[EL_BORICUA]

Originally Posted by El_Jibaro

RED ALERT RAISED IN D.C. FOR PUERTO RICAN 'DIGNITY' MARCH

September 23,3005

Washington, D.C. UBI - The Department of Homeland Security has elevated its terrorism alert in the Nation's capital, after Puerto Rican terrorist sympathizers assembled at the Blair House to protest U.S. "colonialism". Blair House was the site of an assassination attempt on then US President Harry S. Truman in the 1950's by a band of Puerto Rican nationalist terrorists, who also fired shots at U.S Congressmen from the Capitol Gallery while Congress was still in session.

"We need to be wary of these protesters", said the Director of DHS in a prepared statement. "Self-proclaimed Puerto Rican separatists have resorted to bank robbery and drug trafficking to fund their activities since they lost their subsidies from the Soviet Union back in the 1980's", he added. "That they used the site of a prior terrorist attack in the heart of DC for their protest speaks volumes of their boldness and contempt for the rule of law" he sentenced. “Not even Al-Qaeda sympathizers can muster an anti-American protest at Ground Zero in New York, or at the Pentagon across the river” added the Chief of Capitol Police, after ordering that Capitol Hill be cordoned-off in advance of the protest.

For reasons that remain unexplained, a group of alleged 'statehood supporters' accompanied the protesters, while they seemed dazed and confused by the anti-American chants of their colleagues. Mainland political agitators such as Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Michael Moore, Al Franken and US Senator Hillary Clinton joined the protest. "The Imperialist American Infidel Pig-dogs of Halliburton, who control the White House and America through Karl Rove, have long oppressed the poor people of Puerto Rico and they deserve to be free from America" noted renowned film-maker Michael Moore.

The organizers of the protest promised a NYC Puerto Rican Day Parade-style rampage through DC every year “until Puerto Rico is de-colonized in accordance with United Nations resolutions”, said an organizer. The protests have received the open support of and funding from Colombian FARC narco-guerrillas, and has been highlighted on www.AlJazeerah.info as a warning to the Iraqi people to support the insurgency lest they be occupied by the “Zionist Americans for 107 years, like Puerto Rico.” A jihadist web site linked to master terrorist Abu Musab Al-Zarqaui promised to send an army of “martyrs” to bomb "Plaza Las Americas", the largest shopping mall in Puerto Rico and the Caribbean, and wholly owned by Halliburton, “the scourge of Muslims everywhere”, said the posted message.

Meanwhile in bars across Puerto Rico, patrons watched the spectacle in amusement and befuddlement at their mainland brethren. “We don’t know whether to cry for or laugh at these idiots”, explained long-time customer at the landmark Old San Juan bar "El Batey", Internet Journalist Calvin Llorens, “since we’re supposed to be the happiest people on Earth, I guess we’ll have to laugh”.

Puerto Rico Governor Anibal Acevedo-Vila could not be reached for comment, as he was attending a Gay-Lesbian-Transexual Convention in Massachusetts, where he is scheduled to deliver the keynote speech.

Jibaro now knows what will happen in a thousand years!
AAV will still be governor? COÑO thats gotta be a record