[Pregonero]

An old couple in Santo Domingo was puzzled when the coffin of
their dead relative arrived from the USA. The corpse was so tightly squeezed
inside the coffin that her face was practically touching the glass cover. When they opened the coffin, they found a letter pinned to her chest, which read:

Dearest Papi & Mami:
I am sending you Tia Juana's remains for the funeral in the Santo
Domingo Cemetery.
Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses were too high. You will find inside the coffin, under Tia's body, 12 cans of Bumble Bee Tuna, 12 bottles of Paul Mitchell Shampoo and 12 bottles Paul Mitchell Conditioner, 12 Vaseline Intensive Care Skin Lotion, 12 Colgate Toothpaste and 12 cans of Spam. Just divide it among the family.
On Tia's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size 8) for Joseito. There are four pairs of Reeboks under her head for Antonio's sons. Tia is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is for Roberto and the rest are for his sons.
Tia is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bras (my favorite), just divide it among the ladies. The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret panties that she is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins.
Tia is also wearing eight Docker pants, please keep one for yourself and the
rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Tia Juana's left wrist and she is also wearing what you asked for Mami (earrings, ring and
necklace) just please get them before anyone arrives to view the body. Also, the six pairs of Chanel stockings that she is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope the colors are to their liking.
Your loving daughter,
Josefinita

P.S. Please find Tia a dress for her funeral.