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Eddie,
I started this thread to address any questions you may have about anything. My family, my job, my politics, my problems, my etc. I am thinking you do care about me on a human level. That last post in open board convinced me of that. I am grateful you wrote it. Go ahead and be direct about anything at all. After you get your answers. You can make any decision you are comfortable with about me. Choose whatever you want to happen with our online acquaintanceship and I will follow that decision. OK?
If you don't want to ask me questions....since I have 'burdened' you with my family problems....I hope you realize when you said that....I realized you care about me and my family. And what happens to us. So, for all effects and purposes you have every right in the world to ask questions. You are not the unjust Maitreyas as you say. You deserve honest with no vascilation answers. I will give them to you. If you want answers. I am taking a risk with you. But I think I have already been too revealing in this medium anyway. Whatever consequences happen because of it. I have to have the maturity to accept it now. All actions have consequences don't they? I got to accept mine.
Don't think me arrogant, haughty or cruel Eddie. I have never, ever been that. Truly. Are you filled with point blank questions? I will answer them all...if I don't it is because I don't have the time right away...but will get to them. Eventually. And hmmmm. I beg to differ with your assessment of me as the hardest kind of woman to change...do you mean an emotional woman? I write with great attention to constructing words in a way in which feelings are easy to detect and percieve and identify with. I do that because I enjoy playing creatively with emotionally charged words. I want to write creating characters Ed. And good writers dominan el idioma suficiente para crear atmosferas emocionales. I did not know I was doing a good job until I started getting feedback from people like Jose NEstor, Letty, and others. You, on the other hand don't critique literature or writing and keep comments of any emotional nature brief. Though I have gotten hints you do feel what I am writing about through a couple of comments you have made over the years. One of them has been that line about the fragrance of my husband's skin from one of the old philosophy threads....long ago....I thought, "Why did Eddie remember that?!" I even forgot I wrote that. And then I realized. It was an incredibly sensual image. And it captured a certain feeling we have all had in life. I made an impression there.
Why mention all this? Well, I think all that experimental writing on this forum I have been doing, has made you have doubts about my ability to be reason based and logical and scientific. And might be an impediment to me accepting Marxist and Leninist and Maoist thought about society and economy and politics. That is not correct. I hope you also noticed my rational and analytical side....too. And I hope you see I have a sense of working with reason too. And letting reason be the leader in my chariot....you are extraordinary Eddie. I hope you decide to continue this thread with me. I leave March 12th...won't be back for atleast a week or more. Don't know how long it might take so I can't predict. But I will be back and see how you are faring on pr.com.
Please give me a sign that you read this. And that you understand what I said. ANYTHING you write with honesty, I will read and I will answer any question, ABOUT anything at all con honestidad. Hey, I have been fingerprinted, processed and grilled these last few months. Who I am is an open book to the powers that be. I won't mind tough questions from someone like you Eddie. Someone who I realize now, really does give a damn if I live or die.
Suki.
[Edited by Suki on 9th March 2004 at 20:23]
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