Quote:
Originally posted by Delgado22
Quote:
Originally posted by yolyvelez
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female.. Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-__expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest __expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND:
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said ...... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said ..... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said ...... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said ......Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said ...... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said .... I would but you're never there.
He said ...... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said ...... They don't have time
He said ...... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said ...... We don't know; it has never happened.
He said .... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
She said ...... They already have boyfriends.
She said ...... What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
He said ...... A widow.
He said ....... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said ...... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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LOL... I had a good laugh at this. although a couple of things I do beg to differ about, because one in particular has stuck in my craw for YEARS.
He said .... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
She said ...... They already have boyfriends.
NOT TRUE. I'm sensitive, caring, want to marry -- always have, because most of the young women my age are either whores or unattractive (i.e. I do not believe I should look BETTER than the woman I am with) I've had to stay to myself. You can't date, because you can't trust these young women nowadays. They're trying to be playas/pimps like guys! You put your all into it and commit yourself to her, forsaking all others -- only to find out months later she's got a boyfriend, engaged or worst yet MARRIED. Of if none of that, she's sexin somebody on the side behind your back (because I'm waiting for marriage, that has happened to me with every woman I've been involved with). I'm very easy on the eyes (hence my never having to approach women, they always approach me) And I'm definitely no MARICON, so I do not agree with that one. Normally, I just laugh at things like this, but that statement seems to sum up the way women view a man who can be sensitive when he should, caring, selfless and good-looking -- that he has to be gay, and therefore they don't even TRY to give him a chance. That's been the story of my life, yoly. I tried black women, but that's not going to work... lol.. going back to my boricuas, yet now this "white is right"/"pa' mejorar la raza" mentality has taken over, so to come across one of us who doesn't look like Ricky Martin, we don't stand a chance. I mean, what other option is there but to stay to yourself? LOL... I'm sure just as soon as I start acting the rest of the guys out here, I'll be called a "dog" too, huh? Yet the resounding sentiment nationwide is "where are all the good men???"
But these same women think that a gentleman is going to act like a oversized boy/fake thug in the street is going to act. That's one thing young women nowadays fail to realize. Us gentlemen are not going to run up on you with lines (games are for boys) and all of that superficial nonsense. Women say all the time "it's 2005, things have changed, no more barefoot in the kitchen, blah, blah, blah.) Yet when it comes to dealing with men, it's still 2 A.D., they want us to risk dignity and saving face by approaching when last time I checked it is a TWO WAY STREET! Those same women who complain like that won't even make eye contact with me, much less smile or speak and I am here to represent all gentlemen when I say "I AM NOT ABOUT TO RUN UP ON A WOMAN OUT OF THE BLUE JUST BECAUSE SHE LOOKS GOOD" there has to be a middle ground.
I know I'm rambling, but to those who make these generalizations (and not joking like you Yoly, but are dead-serious when they say it) a quick note from a man -- SPEAK, SMILE, AT LEAST MAKE EYE CONTACT, lest you continue to encounter the jerks of this world! LOL.. it just seems that with all the "progress" that has been made with equality between men and women, many women still want things to be so "old-fashioned" or "out-dated" (i.e. a man ALWAYS approaching first). That's not fair, because then you ask "where is there any vulnerability being risked by the woman???" the guy is risking being shot down for being "too nice" (I get that one all the time) or finding out she's either married, dating someone else, a prostitute or just flat-out loose, or one of those women who've been scorned in the past and now have obsessive compulsive issues. That's not a level playing field, and I'm here to say that's an awful lot for me to risk, when the reward is rarely what you hope it is. That is why I do not run up on women anymore. They need to speak or make me feel welcomed or invited to speak and start a conversation.
This generation really needs to learn how to date/marry effectively, because they really have it all backwards -- that all the good ones are stuck in limbo waiting for someone who seems not to exist with each passing day...
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