Originally Posted by hvalentin5349
I was my mothers punching bag when I was little. I think that perhaps she has some king of mental condition. Like schitzopherenia or paranoia or something. But the women thinks that everyone in the family and people in general were out to get her. That really screwed me up as a kid!
I guess we found the root of your problem??? Where is your mother today? Has her condition gotten better? If you are able to talk to your mother, you need to go to her. There needs to be allot of healing and forgiveness taking place. Even though I did not suffer the level of abuse that you did, I can relate.
My mom only abused me really bad once in my life and I think that scared her. She beat me so bad that I basically blacked out. When I woke up, I was in some strange man's house. (another one of her "boyfriends") I was about 4 yrs old when that happened. So I know about things happening as a kid that can screw you up as an adult. My mom's main thing was neglect. Try wandering the city streets looking for attention.
So dear I know how you feel.
You want to reach out and love others but you feel unworthy yourself. You fear rejection yet you choose relationships w/ those that reject you. It's a vicious cycle that only Christ can break.