Go Back   Puerto Rico Discussion Forum > Love & Relationships > Broken Heart
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Does love equal misery?

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 28th July 2005, 16:47
hvalentin5349 hvalentin5349 is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 116
hvalentin5349
Does love equal misery?

Lets see , its been a while since I have last logged on , but I have to let out some steam and see what others have to say about this.

I have the worst of luck with women. I mean the worst of the worst of luck that any poor man can possibly imagen. I have been in love with so many women yet nothing ever happens. I always end up getting my heart ripped out and torn to shreds. I cannot find anyone where there is a mutual interest ; when I like a women she does not like me. When she likes me I do not like her. I am 28 years old. I have never been in a relationship before. I have never had a girlfriend in my life. Never. How pathetic can that be? Can you imagin that?! But what can I do? Through most of my adult life I have been trying to find love. But nothing ever happens. I remember there was that one girl in college that I fell so deeply in love with - she told me she was single but then it turned out she had a boyfriend. I went through a nasty depression that lasted almost a year. Everytime I fall in live with a women it truens out that she is already taken - many times thay lie to me. I can not seem to find anyone who is honest. I can not find any one where the intrest is mutual.Women play a lot of games - and its always with me. Its like looking for a needle in a haystack. Of course , I was with one women once a few years ago. But that was more a quick summer fling. That was the first and last time I have ever been with a women. What could it be? I don't do drugs , I take two showers a day. I go to the gym to keep fit. I am working towards my masters degree. A lot of women have told me that I am an attractive man - although that I might put some people off because I have such a seriuos look - I always look like I am angry. I have no drug addictions or vices. Of course , I have women friends , but nothing more. I must admit , that through the course of my life Cupid has put me through quite the roller coaster ride. There have been times when Cupid has made me feel like I am on cloud nine and there have been times when my life has sunk to abysmal lows , one time to the point of seriously contemplating suicide. Sometimes I get so depressed when I start to think of all the misery and suffering that love has caused me. I will admit that to a certain point I have become resentlful - people that I know have no problem meeting women yet I stumble like a idiot when I see a women that I like. Right now I am feeling depressed. Once again there is some girl here that I have started to fall for and again she already has a man. I hate myslef for this. I wish there was a way for me to just turn off this feeling that I have inside of me. It is times like these that just want to make me put a bullet in my head. I can see myself being an old man and still single. It depresse me that I a can' t find a girlfriend. I just went to the bathroom and started puching the walls out of fustration ,just like I used to do when I was in high school and used to get into those huge fights with my mom. What is it about me that makes women just want to screw me over? Why does this always happen to me? They say that us Puerto Rican men are smooth and outgoing with the ladies. If you were to see me you would probaly think that I am from northern Europe ( cold people up there ). God , I am the total anti-thesis of that image. I put my country men to shame!! Of course , the fact that I am a very , very shy man and also very tense and anxious does not help either. It will usaully take me a while to come out of my shell . But does it have to be these bad? There are days when I just hate myself. dont know , why does this always happen to me?
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 28th July 2005, 17:57
Delgado22
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Angry You Are Not Alone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by hvalentin5349
Lets see , its been a while since I have last logged on , but I have to let out some steam and see what others have to say about this.

I have the worst of luck with women. I mean the worst of the worst of luck that any poor man can possibly imagen. I have been in love with so many women yet nothing ever happens. I always end up getting my heart ripped out and torn to shreds. I cannot find anyone where there is a mutual interest ; when I like a women she does not like me. When she likes me I do not like her. I am 28 years old. I have never been in a relationship before. I have never had a girlfriend in my life. Never. How pathetic can that be? Can you imagin that?! But what can I do? Through most of my adult life I have been trying to find love. But nothing ever happens. I remember there was that one girl in college that I fell so deeply in love with - she told me she was single but then it turned out she had a boyfriend. I went through a nasty depression that lasted almost a year. Everytime I fall in live with a women it truens out that she is already taken - many times thay lie to me. I can not seem to find anyone who is honest. I can not find any one where the intrest is mutual.Women play a lot of games - and its always with me. Its like looking for a needle in a haystack. Of course , I was with one women once a few years ago. But that was more a quick summer fling. That was the first and last time I have ever been with a women. What could it be? I don't do drugs , I take two showers a day. I go to the gym to keep fit. I am working towards my masters degree. A lot of women have told me that I am an attractive man - although that I might put some people off because I have such a seriuos look - I always look like I am angry. I have no drug addictions or vices. Of course , I have women friends , but nothing more. I must admit , that through the course of my life Cupid has put me through quite the roller coaster ride. There have been times when Cupid has made me feel like I am on cloud nine and there have been times when my life has sunk to abysmal lows , one time to the point of seriously contemplating suicide. Sometimes I get so depressed when I start to think of all the misery and suffering that love has caused me. I will admit that to a certain point I have become resentlful - people that I know have no problem meeting women yet I stumble like a idiot when I see a women that I like. Right now I am feeling depressed. Once again there is some girl here that I have started to fall for and again she already has a man. I hate myslef for this. I wish there was a way for me to just turn off this feeling that I have inside of me. It is times like these that just want to make me put a bullet in my head. I can see myself being an old man and still single. It depresse me that I a can' t find a girlfriend. I just went to the bathroom and started puching the walls out of fustration ,just like I used to do when I was in high school and used to get into those huge fights with my mom. What is it about me that makes women just want to screw me over? Why does this always happen to me? They say that us Puerto Rican men are smooth and outgoing with the ladies. If you were to see me you would probaly think that I am from northern Europe ( cold people up there ). God , I am the total anti-thesis of that image. I put my country men to shame!! Of course , the fact that I am a very , very shy man and also very tense and anxious does not help either. It will usaully take me a while to come out of my shell . But does it have to be these bad? There are days when I just hate myself. dont know , why does this always happen to me?


I can't answer your last few questions, but trust me -- you are NOT alone. That is the tale of my life, too. And most good men nowadays tell the same story. What can you do? Things have changed so much with women that they are really going to have to be wise enough to see a good thing and approach US. Approaching them only seems to set you up to get screwed over. Nowadays women like to play like men always have, and the minute you open up and let your feelings be made known, she begins to do things to use that against you. Happens to me every time. The whole "I've never had a girlfriend, each time I find one I like, she's taken, or the ones I don't like always find me" line and all -- I am telling you, dude -- I can totally relate. I'm a couple of years younger than you, but nonetheless, I can offer you some solace so that you don't remain depressed and think you're the only one going through this. Think about it, I am a christian and I want a christian (A REAL ONE, not in name only) woman. And so few of our women are really into God like that. I don't feel I put our countrymen to shame... not at all... being about something is not something to be shameful about. I do not envy losers just because they seem to always be with the woman I would want and SHOULD have. Forget that. But think about how hard it is to find a good woman (boricua) AND be a christian as well... solo Dios sabe (shrugging) but I found myself throwing a mini-15 minute pity-party like this a few days ago before I cut it out and realized how great and awesome I am and I don't need to apologize for being one of the few men left in this world who isn't all about himself. And I am firmly convinced that the right woman for me will be bold, wise and confident -- the very things that she will see in me, and will cause her to be curious about me and inquire and APPROACH me. My days of approaching women are over. No more allowing them to play these games. That is the only sure-fire way to weed out the scum, because there's an ever-increasing population of them among women nowadays (to those women whom this doesn't apply, please don't shoot back with the customary nasty remarks -- I didn't say "all women" -- and besides, if you're one of the good ones, you would steadfastly agree with me)

But anyway, sr. valentin, take heart, man... you are not alone in this.

Cogelo suave..
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 28th July 2005, 19:32
Leticia_g Leticia_g is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: East meets West
Posts: 2,293
Leticia_g is on a distinguished road
Saludos Valentin and Delgado

I read your posting with great interest because when I was a young girl, I used to feel the same way. I married young and that relationship was a disaster, needless to say I was sad, depress etc. However, one thing that kept me going was my faith. I truly believed there was a special man out there for me.....one dear person told me that good things take time. I now firmly believe it, I never thought all men were bad because of my first experience, instead I wished for a man that would be like my dad and brothers were. I met him and we got married. Our marriage last over 25 years. It was a good marriage .....and one I hold dear in my heart.

All in all, don't lose faith, there are many young ladies that would love to meet young men like you two, they are out there... are harder to find but that is what will make them worth it.

Keep your faith and let God be your guide......he will lead you to her.

Always!

Leticia
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 28th July 2005, 22:41
hvalentin5349 hvalentin5349 is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 116
hvalentin5349
I appreciate the input.

You know I have been thinking about this for a long time now. I have looked through my own past in general and I have come to realize that the the times in my life when I have been most miserable , when I have been at my lowest have been the times that I have been in love. Every other problem has been minor in comparison. Love has always made me miserable. I believe that there is no women on this Earth that is capable of loving me as there will be no women that I can love. I have reached the conlusion that I will never be happy with love. No matter how hard I try , no matter what I do , it will never , ever happen. This will be my curse. I am not really afarid of anything else. I feel that I can have the entire world if I wanted to - that all things are possible , but that finding a women to love - and who will love me back - is the one thing that I will never find no matter what I do or say. Perhaps it is better that I just give this whole thing up. I surrender. Tha white flag goes up. I truely believe that I am destined to spend the rest of my life alone. Solitude will be my only companion. Yes , Cupid has been so cruel to me. Perhaps the reason I cannot be happy with love is because I was never meant to have it. It is the one thing I cannot have. It is the one thing that will torment me until my last dying breath. I will never love or be loved. Yes , life will be much better , more relaxed that way.

I give up.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 29th July 2005, 07:39
Colorblind Colorblind is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 139
Colorblind
Angry

Quote:
Originally Posted by hvalentin5349
Lets see , its been a while since I have last logged on , but I have to let out some steam and see what others have to say about this.

I have the worst of luck with women. I mean the worst of the worst of luck that any poor man can possibly imagen. I have been in love with so many women yet nothing ever happens. I always end up getting my heart ripped out and torn to shreds. I cannot find anyone where there is a mutual interest ; when I like a women she does not like me. When she likes me I do not like her. I am 28 years old. I have never been in a relationship before. I have never had a girlfriend in my life. Never. How pathetic can that be? Can you imagin that?! But what can I do? Through most of my adult life I have been trying to find love. But nothing ever happens. I remember there was that one girl in college that I fell so deeply in love with - she told me she was single but then it turned out she had a boyfriend. I went through a nasty depression that lasted almost a year. Everytime I fall in live with a women it truens out that she is already taken - many times thay lie to me. I can not seem to find anyone who is honest. I can not find any one where the intrest is mutual.Women play a lot of games - and its always with me. Its like looking for a needle in a haystack. Of course , I was with one women once a few years ago. But that was more a quick summer fling. That was the first and last time I have ever been with a women. What could it be? I don't do drugs , I take two showers a day. I go to the gym to keep fit. I am working towards my masters degree. A lot of women have told me that I am an attractive man - although that I might put some people off because I have such a seriuos look - I always look like I am angry. I have no drug addictions or vices. Of course , I have women friends , but nothing more. I must admit , that through the course of my life Cupid has put me through quite the roller coaster ride. There have been times when Cupid has made me feel like I am on cloud nine and there have been times when my life has sunk to abysmal lows , one time to the point of seriously contemplating suicide. Sometimes I get so depressed when I start to think of all the misery and suffering that love has caused me. I will admit that to a certain point I have become resentlful - people that I know have no problem meeting women yet I stumble like a idiot when I see a women that I like. Right now I am feeling depressed. Once again there is some girl here that I have started to fall for and again she already has a man. I hate myslef for this. I wish there was a way for me to just turn off this feeling that I have inside of me. It is times like these that just want to make me put a bullet in my head. I can see myself being an old man and still single. It depresse me that I a can' t find a girlfriend. I just went to the bathroom and started puching the walls out of fustration ,just like I used to do when I was in high school and used to get into those huge fights with my mom. What is it about me that makes women just want to screw me over? Why does this always happen to me? They say that us Puerto Rican men are smooth and outgoing with the ladies. If you were to see me you would probaly think that I am from northern Europe ( cold people up there ). God , I am the total anti-thesis of that image. I put my country men to shame!! Of course , the fact that I am a very , very shy man and also very tense and anxious does not help either. It will usaully take me a while to come out of my shell . But does it have to be these bad? There are days when I just hate myself. dont know , why does this always happen to me?
OK, I was not going to say anything but, I'm totally angry w/ your post. I'm not angry w/ you Valentin. I'm angry w/ the enemy. (el diablo) I don't know if you believe in dark forces in this world but they are real and very dangerous. Well I'm about to expose one today. That's the spirit of depression. I bind that spirit in your life cause you are God's creation. Don't you ever ever ever say that you are unworthy to be loved by a women. The word of God distinctly says that it is not good for man to be alone. (Genesis 2:18) God created us women to be helpers and be a blessing.

I want to encourage you to focus on loving and appreciating yourself; However, in order to achieve that you have to Love God 1st. By receiving Him and becoming a new person you can learn to put those old things behind you. (Acts 2:38) I'm not telling you something that I don't practice myself.

I too have suffered greatly at the hands of the opposite sex but, God is healing me and restoring my faith in Love . Yes I could have turned my back on all men. Maybe even have gone the other way. But you have to remember there is always someone worse off than you.

So I encourage you first to give your life to Christ and let Him make you over. Learn to start over and live life again. Stop w/ the pity party and put a smile on your face Mister.

One last thing, for some reason I'm sensing some unresolved issues between you and your mother. That appears to be the root of your problem w/ women. I'm not trying to be Dr. Phil but I tend to discern well. Correct me if I'm wrong. Could it be that she did not show you enough Love as a child?

Did she push you away and substitute something else in your place?

I'll stop here before I start going off the deep end. Take care Valentin & you're in my prayers.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 29th July 2005, 08:57
hvalentin5349 hvalentin5349 is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 116
hvalentin5349
Colorblind:

Did she push you away and substitute something else in your place?

What do you mean ? Explain this to me.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 29th July 2005, 10:18
Colorblind Colorblind is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 139
Colorblind
Lightbulb

Quote:
Originally Posted by hvalentin5349
Colorblind:

Did she push you away and substitute something else in your place?

What do you mean ? Explain this to me.
They say that there is nothing better than a mother's love. Well that's not the case for everyone. Some women don't know how to love there children the right way. If that mother does not feel loved or if she does not love herself, she won't show it to others. So they tend to push away their children and search for solace in something else. (i.e. other men, drugs, her job etc.) I hoped I explained that well enough.

I seemed to have struck a cord w/ you. Was I close, cause I really want to help.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:15.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC4 © 2006, Crawlability, Inc.