What's the deal?

[h_colon]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of seven monthes. We had met at work and the first couple of monthes were pretty bumpy due to the fact that part of our relationship was based on lies. Everyone warned me that he wasn't for me but I sincerely loved him.(I later found out he had slept with one of my best friends...so that's why she stopped talking to me...)One of our problems was that he is from Washington Heights and I'm in the Suburbs. He would beep me at 2:30 and I would wonder why he just couldn't call me. He swears he was faithful but we would go weeks without seeing each other. He was the first guy I slept with and I am having a hard time letting go. I need some advice.

[Lja]

h colon,
I know this is hard, particularly since he was your first. But believe me let him go!!! You may not believe it, but there is hardly a woman alive that hasn't been exactly where you are right now! No one deserves that kind of treatment. Don't dupe yourself into believing that you do. Don't dupe yourself into believing that you'll never find another man. Do you have any hobbies or anything that you've been interested in learning more about? If so, this is the perfect time to grab a newspaper and find out where the free lectures or events are going on. If you don't have any hobbies or special interests, please find some. You will be surprised at how much better you will feel. You might stumble into a new career and/or some new friends in the process. Go to the library, to the museum, to a coffee shop, or anywhere you haven't been before. Don't give this guy anymore of your personal power. Also, put down that telephone. Don't you dare answer that beeper. Anybody who cannot call before midnight is either working the nightshift or engaged in some kind of shady behavior. Grit your teeth, punch a pillow, have a good cry, but don't give in. Let me know how you're doing. Peace and Power, lja

[Eda]

H, Colon, you hang in there girl. Like Lja said, find your self a hobbie. Go to they gym, find a good book, hang out with the girls. Theres no need to waste postive energy on him any longer. Its just a waste of good time and energy. Its time to do good for yourself. Go find some sunshine girl. There's plenty of it out there and enjoy your life. Again this is something we all, well most of us, go through and we have to learn how to adjust, get up, and dust the dirt off and keep walking. Cuidate Eda

[m_nixon]

hey if a guy treats you like that he wasn't serious from the get go, he probaly will never be serious. There are just some guys out there who don't want to be married ever, they want to be single and with a different girl every night. move on and if your looking for a serious relationship make sure the other person feels the same way before you make the ultimate step of making love.

I know how hard it is to get over your first but it can be done. The best thing to do would be to move on. Things do get so much easyer. I was with a guy that I worked with one time and I leanrd that it wasn't the best thing in the world for me to do. But almost everyone has done it.

[h_colon]

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you guys who helped me realize what needed to be done for myself. My whole problem was that I built my life around him and when we broke up the whole middle of my life fell in. I tried to rebound with another guy that I knew. He was everything I wished my ex could have been, but I realized that there really wasn't anything there. Now I'm on my own (using everybody's suggestions) trying to rebuild everything. Sometimes it's tempting to give in, but I know I can't give in.

[Lja]

Good for you h colon,
You can be very proud of yourself that you've recognized where you went wrong. Many people don't ever do that and they keep making the same mistakes over and over. I know this is a difficult time for you, but it will pass. Keep the faith. I'm glad I could be of some help. Let us all know how you're doing. lja