My marriage is falling apart!

[Corazon_Roto]

Wow! I am going thru some rough times! My wife and I have offered each other the divorce at least 6 times! She does not trust me at all! I am just tired of the way my life is going! The only major obstacle is our kid! Who I love with all my heart. What should I do???

[This message has been edited by Corazon Roto (edited 30 May 2000).]

[This message has been edited by Corazon Roto (edited 30 May 2000).]

[Boricua_Princess]

I'm really sorry for what's going on in your life. The first question I think you should ask yourself is if you still love your wife and if you think she still loves you. Is that love worth salvaging? Have you offered each other a divorce becuase you guys don't feel anything at all for each other is it becuase she doesn't trust you? Could family therapy be an option?

Maybe that would help, or maybe even a "LITTLE" time apart from each other can help you sort out your feelings. (No cheating while you're apart, that doesn't count!--And that goes for the both of you.)

I don't want to be nosey so I won't ask why she doesn't trust you, but ask yourself also what it was you did that now she doesn't trust you, or is she just a person that has gone through some rough times in the past and therefore, doesn't trust "anyone" anymore and not just you? Whatever the case may be, try putting yourself in her place and see how "you" would have reacted in her shoes. Is her position justified, and if it is try to help her overcome it.

About your child, You mentioned your child was an "obstacle" for you guys leaving each other, I can say I lived in the middle of a battlefield when I was growing up, all I heard was a fight about the stupidest things, that's not good for a child either, you alone know how bad it is in your home and maybe you should ask your child what he/she thinks about mommy and daddy. And above all, never stop expressing your love for that child.

How long has this been going on? You said you have offered each other a divorce six times. What have you been doing about the situation since it started? Try to put from your part. That counts alot.

[Corazon_Roto]

Well...This has been going on for at least a couple of years. NO, we didn't argue everyday of those years. We did have our good days. It just seems like it won't end. We are seeking help. Sometimes it's good sometimes it's not! I deep down inside feel bumbed! Tired! Worrying about what's going to happen next. The reason she does not trust me now is because she caught me in a lie. I don't blame her, but she constantly adds more to our problem. She adds things that never happen and things I will never do!

I want to be happy. I hate being miserable. I am sad!

[mariahvina]

Hi Corazon Roto
I can understand you feeling unhappy because of the way your marriage turned out or changed after you lied to your wife. Being a divorced woman with kids I can tell you that it is very hard to forget and trust a man after he has lied. It might be that this lie of yours was to much to handle for her. I have no idea because you dont specify what you did, but It is very hard to trust when you have been deeply hurt.
My ex lied to me and I have been divorced now for 6 years and I still can forgive him. Of course it was more than lying and cheating. He left us, me and my children for drugs. He stole from us and I was still their . He did not have another woman but he put his addition before me and his 2 kids. And I will never forgive him so I can understand that if you have really deeply hurt your wife you will have to put alot of effort into your relationship if you love her and want to keep your family together. Your child is an innocent bystander and it is not fair to him to put him in the middle. He did not ask to have this problem and you should know that fight and arguments are not good for him, being with just on parent is better than living in the middle of a war. Think about him and consider if you really deserve this woman and if you think you can make it up to her. I t will be a long way for some women it is never over, weigh what is best for your kid he is first and then if you really love her to be faithful and honest to her forever. It seems like a long time but that is what it takes.

[davidFreedom]

.....ask her forgivness every day, tell her you love her every morning when you wake up,hold her hand when you walk together,buy her a flower each day, write her letters of love and caring, hold her in your arms before you sleep, be a part of her life every moment you can......ask her for forgivness everyday.

[El_Jibaro]

Try Jesus, he can change hearts!

I didn't say try religion.

Just ask Him to help you in your marriage.

If He can't help you, no one can.

If He does help, think of what other things in your life He can fix also.

------------------
Manuel Alonso

[Corazon_Roto]

Hey Guys thanks for the replies. Mr. Freedom...you seem like a really romantic guy. I will do what you say. I once was like that. But time has changed me and my feelings. Mr. Jibaro, you are right to ask Jesus for the help I need. I will also work on that!

[This message has been edited by Corazon Roto (edited 05 June 2000).]