Teenage dating?

[Eda]

What do you think is the right age for teenagers to start dating? Some Gentes let thier Daughters date at age 12, Im a bit old fashion and believe that it should start taking place around 11 to 12th grade. Am I living in the dark ages thinking this?
Need a little help over here In Cali......Cuidate Mi Gente Eda

[Lja]

I think the age of sixteen to seventeen is the most appropriate time to allow teenagers to start dating unchaperoned. While I remember being allowed to go somewhere in a group that included boys and girls when I was about fourteen, this group was always accompanied by an adult who tried to stay in the background. Eda you are not living in the dark ages. I know a lot of parents who have made it clear to their daughters and sons that they may date when they turn sixteen. Believe me, we (people of color) are not members of the Beverly Hills 90210 crowd and I hope we never are members of the disrespect-do-anything-you-want-spoiled-brat-bunch. If more people encouraged young people to wait to date there would probably be fewer teen parents. Hold your ground. You are not alone on this one. lja

[JackieF]

I agree. Girls should not be allowed along with a boy anytime before sixteen, any younger than that would be puting her at risk. I also remember going out with a group of friends and having a great time before I was sixteen, but never along.
I don't think you are oldfashion, mom's that are not very strick beacause they are afraid their kids will be upset with them are the ones that later regreat it. Somethings should never change and the safety and future of our kids is in our hands, If she gets upset, she'll get over it.
There is a right time for everything.

[Eda]

I really appreciate the advise you are throwing out believe me I need all the help I can get. Nobody ever told me being a parent is easy. Im doing the best I can and thats all I got to give. No I dont want to become a young Abuela, I got many years for that to happen. But If I just let her out and do what ever she wants and what her friends want, then I know were in for trouble. Im trying to prevent all the negatives of that....I only hope later she appreciates this. Its hard being a MOMMIE..

[Lja]

Eda,
She will appreciate it. Stick to your guns and make sure you explain that you're doing this because you love her and want to keep her safe. Try not to hold her too tightly, because sometimes these kids go wild the minute they see an opportunity. I'll tell you something my mother told me. She said "I want you to learn as much as possible about taking care of yourself and looking out for yourself, because the days when you need me most, I probably will be dead and gone". I've never forgotten that. Also, if you start to really have problems that you're not sure you can handle, please ask someone for information about professional help. I know a lot of people who were too embarrassed to ask and now they wish they did. I wish you the best. lja

[lugo]

Eda, My cousin and niece are going through exactly the same thing. My niece is 14yrs old and her mom won't let her have boys even as friends. She is a very sweet girl and I know her mom just wants to protect her. But with their situation it's very difficult because her mom hasn't given her the best of examples to follow and my niece constanly throws that in her face. I think her mom is being a bit to strong with her. My niece tells her mom that she doesn't trust her, that she will never to anything to bring her shame but her mom doesn't understand her point of view. I know that she loves her daughter but if she keeps squeezing to tight My niece is bound to explode in the worst of ways. She already told me she wants to live with me and all I tell her is to be patient and wait, that I'm there to listen. I guess what I'm trying to say is as a mom do the best you can but always remember that you were once that age too and reminise on how you wanted your parents to treat you. Good Luck with your daughter I hope I helped in some way. I mean nothing but the best for you and your family.

[BRENDABORICUA]

WELL IF LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY ADOLESCENT YEARS. I COULDN'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND UNTIL I WAS 18. AND EVEN THEN I HAD TO TAKE A CHAPERONE. I MET MY BOYFRIEND WHEN I WAS 18 AND ENDED UP GETTING MARRIED A MONTH SHY OF TURNING 20. MY DAD, UNTIL THE DAY BEFORE I GOT MARRIED, MADE ME TAKE MY SISTER WITH ME EVERYWHERE. MY CURFEW WAS ANYWHERE BETWEEN 9 AND 1130, DEPENDING WHERE I WAS. BUT MIND YOU I WAS IN COLLEGE AND COULDN'T EVEN GO OUT ON SCHOOL NIGHTS. I HAD IT BAD. I STARTED GOING OUT IN GROUPS WHEN I WAS 17 BUT AT 12:30 MY DAD AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY WAS IN A BIT VAN RIGHT OUTSIDE THE CLUB READY TO PICK ME UP. MY DAD WAS SUPER STRICT ON ME , EVEN NOW I'M MARRIED AND HE FORGETS THAT I'M A BIG GIRL AND AM MARRIED WITH A BABY AND HE BE OFFERING PESCOSAS EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE.