I want to improve my English...

[Eddier1]

[quote]Originally posted by Stanley
[b]One who is overbearing in his temper or habits; a proud or haughty person

I still think the above is not a pejorative.
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As a man of the People, I 'spit' on the overbearing, proud and haughty. Those are subjective emotions which I despise, and have seen on the gnitty-gritty level in political demonstrations back when like in Chicago, and in the South among the other freedom fighters'civil rights demonstrations. It was seen too often among the police in such a way, that their snarling dogs seemed to complement them in their snot-spill. Now, you have seen it in "teachers" and "coaches" and in "great leaders" you opine. Well, I haven't seen it like you have. And if I had, I would have been out of there in a sec. heading for high ground to plan a counter attack.

You ask about La Azuquita again. And moreover about Raul_g.
Why don't you direct a post to her directly and ask her about all this? Don't add on to the posts we are having, but give her all the special attention that she deserves. I can only say that in one of her posts, she did mention that you were trying to egg me on about her. And after all this plying of questions you continously ask me about her, I see her point clearly and unequivocably. Ask la mujer politely, and if she responds ok, and if not you are no more TOAST to her that you already are. LOL!

[Stanley]

One who is overbearing in his temper or habits; a proud or haughty person

I would say this describes Fidel and others who are not necessarily on the left.

I don't understand why you continue to deny you may have some of these traits---------- I don't get it. Sure- I can understand why you would be disgusted with someone who has these traits if they are on the right. But-------- what would you say to someone with those traits who is a communist. To me it would appear that such person has a lot of conviction.

I guess I am curious about Suki. But, you are correct----- there is no point in discussing this. Maybe I am too chismoso.

[Suki]

Eddie,

I am going to be gone for a bit. Lol. I need to do things. I do want to address a few things first. First, I am 37 years old. Lol. If you don't believe me. I never told a white lie about my age. Lol. I was born in 1966. Yautia was 25 when she had me. Lol. I had to apply recently for adoption of a child. And they required a million documents. I have a copy of my birth certificate and can scan it and send it to you if you like. But you are not going to accept that. Lol. You may continue to lie about me thinking I am older than that. I have realized one can't understand the mind of others in general and if they decide they want to believe a lie about you. They have that right. lol.

Second, I have a very cordial relationship to Raul g. We are two different people politically, philosophically, and in almost every important way. Yet he always had a good heart. And was always kind to me in his way. I never invited Raul to Colorado. He IM'd and we talked for hours. It was loads of fun. And he called me. And I talked a while there. He has a high opinion about you, but thinks you should dump the communism. And he has posted to me in his old theorem thread. And also was sympathetic about Mom's illness and posted his sympathies to me. He likes to bounce around the web a lot. And does not stick around any one place for long. He is enjoying his retirement from the IRS. He's an inveterate and unapologetic flirt. And loves his Puerto Rican wife very much. Lol. Though he is a bit of a romantic at heart. Like his father Carlos Guillermo was too. He comes off as dry and technical. But I think the man is emotionally very stable and kind. Unlike others. Lol. I have not heard from him in months. And it is ok. NO MORE personal questions. Or bochinches. It is just not worth it.

I have gotten advice from the women. They agree. We all agree. There are things that were said by Eddie. That I can never forget either. I have to move on now. But, I will always have concern. Good Night.

Stanley, when I say I am not burguesa. I am not. You may continue lying to yourself. I don't give a damn anymore what anyone thinks in this forum. Only some people who have proven themselves to be trustworthy.

No, Eddie I don't think the internet will ever replace, face to face conversations, or touching someone or listening to their voices, or seeing their expressions and emotions move through their faces. That is not liberal bullcrap. It is primordial humanity of milleniums. Primate DNA codes. We all need to be touched, held, caressed and paid attention to, in a real physical sense. If we don't get that, we miss it on some molecular level. Ask Fausta she just graduated from Massage therapy school. And touch can be very therapeutic and necessary. We can't live in a vaccuum or electronically. We can mass communicate. But the masses do they give us what we most need? Masses or all people? And not all people do we like, or trust, (like I no longer trust Stanley or you anymore Eddie, that is ok, you obviously never trusted me either), but we can co-exist and be concerned for one another and be decent fellow forumites. Some people are best left to their own devices. And we all need a respite for reflection.

Good night.

Suki.

[Eddier1]

Suki, I am trying my damnest to be polite to you. And you know that from the git-go I told you that I never trust anyone, but that it does not hinder my ability to do my job effectively. I, therefore, have been consistent from day one with you, and time and again I find that you lack consistency. For example, did you not tell me in an email that Raul showed up at your house, and that he was a skinny,little man of no consequence to look at? And that I responded that he had been a tax collector practically all his life, and that looking like a skinflint would not be unusual for him. Moreover, since he has a home in Texas, it is not far for him to go to Colorado, next state in fact, and drop in on you. Why do you now paint a rosy picture of him, when in another email you said that you didn't want anything more to do with him? I asked why, and you seemed flustered in your answer, and said you didn't want to repeat what had happened. Am I to believe it was a good occasion, or a bad one, hmmm. I thought it must have been bad obviously. Now, you also said that being a mentor, sometimes the mentor has to be tough and say things that are not pleasant so that the person being assisted can make progress. So, being my usual self, I must have come right out with it! now and then, and you took that alright, but now are conferring a year and a half later with the women of your family, and find that I didn't treat you right,...is that what I am suppose to conclude from this latest post by you? Also with Ecuajey, you took the same route, and told me that you didn't want anything more to do with him either, because it was "horrible" what he said to you. I asked what did he say to you, and you replied like you did vis-a-vis Raul that you didn't want to tell me. Your ways are 'sine die', but that you say things that border on outright mendacity and contradictions is also something that can be become die-cast, too. Pathological lying or congenital lying is a terrible thing, and it takes pretty clever people to do that. Fortunately, I am not smart in that way, and never have I told an intentional lie, and don't appreciate anyone saying or implying that I am a liar. It is sad that you don't keep your word, and like you say often you are leaving the forum for good, and then you don't. Why you say these things I guess I will never know. And, truthfully, I don't care "una rata's tracero" if I ever do. BTW, I am glad that you didn't have to pay me any tuition for the mentoring on the philosophy of communism, but if you had, I could close all of this 'brete' with you by simply giving back to you all the tuition that you payed. I'll bet that would help bring closure to all these unpleasant conversations.

[Edited by Eddier1 on 2nd August 2003 at 08:07]

[Suki]

Ay Eddie,
Just leave it alone man. I never said that Raul g was in Texas and would drop by to visit me, and all I said about Raul was about his voice, and how he described himself. He jogs a lot and is a certain way. I never said he was a man of no consequence. Just that there was not much else left to converse about. The guy is busy implementing his agenda. I don't want to talk about Ecuajey anymore. I KNOW you would never knowingly try to lie. Ever. I know that Eddie.

I don't discuss you with my mother in general Eddie. I talk about other issues with her. You are a man Eddie. Male 100% and you think like a male 100%. The women on this site think differently about emotional issues that I have had, females think differently (that is not judging you at all Eddie) you have been true to who you are. I have to take responsibility for my emotional responses in the past to you Eddie. They came from a place of pain about losing my father. I think the long drawn out illness, and just seeing him deteriorate did something to me. And I have avoided facing that for the longest time. I have wanted to leave the forum so many times. When I felt you disapproved of me, or I was being rejected by you. It was all subjective feelings. My longing for acceptance so I could converse with such a bright person such as you, un padre. But, you are not that. You are not my father. And it was unfair to you to try to make you out as one. Don't take any of it personally. It is not a reflection on you at all. It is about some unknown person's (my pain) far away. And has nothing to do with you. You keep fighting the good fight in politics and such. This place would never be the same without you. And you are doing an excellent job here in my opinion.

And I have always felt that when one teaches something to someone else, even if they don't seem to have learned anything initially from it, in the long run they do. They do. And never underestimate your objectivities.

I was so sad about some things. For a while. But then I realized. I have to put away all this emotion. I do. And not worry anymore what anyone thinks. Some of the women on this site understand everything in one sentence. I think cuz we feel and respond similarly to many of life's problems.

Again, it is no reflection on you Eddie. Estoy desprendiendome. I think I should only write things that others can relate to. And themes of general interest.

Have a good weekend Eddie, and forget about all this chisme. Stanley is a gossip mill. And I find most of this in general just not worth it anymore. Just do what you have always done. Fight the good fight.

Mucho respeto compa,
Suki

P.S. You have been a good mentor. And have said some things to make me think hard. If I have not been consistent with my responses, as you may have expected, it is because this relationship had two heads involved with two separate agendas. Mine was to get friendship and acceptance from you. Yours was to bring truth of the essential nature of things to a fellow Puerto Rican. I wanted something emotional. You wanted something intellectual and of conviction. They were bound to collide and cause chaos. They did. I take responsibility for my emotional expectations. They were inappropriate and displaced. Eddie, I am going to take the liberty of being absolutely truthful without sugar coating anything. As you would do for me. Ed, you have fought Nazis, been on the Intrepid, Dealt with McCarthy, gov't agents, persecution, so many things in life. You have lived it all. All. You have paid your dues Eddie. Ofcourse I have learned from you. Who would not? All of us come with mixed emotions through lifes experiences. I know I got some objectivity in dealing with it from you. I did. IT was good.

[Edited by Suki on 2nd August 2003 at 15:05]

[Stanley]

Once again a discrepancy between the two of you. One of you must be lying-------- Which one?

[Suki]

Stan,
You just love to provoke for entertainment's sake. Eres un caso perdido. I think this is a case of interpretation and of emotional responses mixed with intellectual responses.

At least on my part. Eddie will say he is a man of reason. I was damned surprised that he had been moved by me, angered by my commentary and hurt and felt betrayed and so many things. He again is a hard person to know emotionally because he does not express it. He does not come out and say, "Suki, I felt hurt and betrayed when you said this. Because this is what I expected from you, and you disappointed me or let me down." If he would have been open about feelings I think this break down would never have happened. And if I had not been so wrapped up into trying to get a friendship out of Eddie, when he unequivocably stated he would not engage in one. All this would have been avoided. And so again I say. I take responsibility for my emotions with Ed. I think it caused him to say some things, that modified the trust in him I had. He did it cuz it was necessary for him. He has called me many things in the past. Not all of them good. But I see that as a consequence of just months of communication. And of life. But I saw what he and you were doing on this forum in this thread. Saying I was a burguesa, a mentally ill person with a doormat husband, a liar, 'culo', and many other things. It let me know. The level of respect had gone downhill. There are people that have met me on this forum. And I will meet a couple of more. And hopefully establish a long term acquaintanceship and friendship on this site, and they might read all that. And they will know it is not true about me. But who cares? I see I can't influence any single person's interpretation. There are so many things and etiphets thrown at people on this site that are not true. I never believed all the invectives they threw at Eddie. The invitation to Colorado still stands for Eddie. It always has. I know he is restricted. I invite very few people to my home. I take a risk in doing that over the internet. But, I think he is one person I would have liked to have met someday. It aint gonna happen probably. I have to accept it. Got to accept to let him go, like many have suggested I do. Cuz, he wanted something intellectually sound from me. And I wanted something emotional from him. It aint gonna coalesce. For many reasons.

You, will continue Stanley trying to provoke. I suggest you shut up and be a decent human being and leave it alone.

Suki.