I want to improve my English...

[Suki]

Stanley,
You don't know anything about my relationship to my husband. Neither does Eddie. All both of you do is speculate and basically come up with theories that are so off the mark it is foolish and laughable. You think my husband hangs around all day reading forum posts? Or cares to post? He is doing his activities and his politics and his life. I have always been proud to be his wife. Because he has qualities that both of you lack. Eddie, lacks sensibilidad. He does. He gets damn vicious. He thinks long ago I wrote that to hurt him. He is wrong super wrong. I said it to compliment him and tell him how much his story about his childhood love of music moved me, I mentioned the politics because it is a contrast of behavior. Different ways of expression and layers to a person's way of being is interesting to me, always has been (at least psychologically it is). He misinterpreted it totally and took it as some horrible putdown attack on him. He is super equivocado. But stubborn as the devil himself in believing I did it with malice. I know my intent was NEVER to hurt the man. He will stubbornly believe otherwise. That is why I got so upset. I always do, when I think someone is hurt. I hurt when they hurt and can't live with that. I must apologize and make it right. Another thing either of you don't do very well. Apologize. But nobody beats El Jibaro for sucking at apologizing with sincerity. Just as Ed believes I am older than 37, even if I can offer evidence to the contrary. He does not give a damn. Who the hell cares about the USA or PR if you can't trust or love people? A society without love or trust for each other is not one worth living in IMHO. I know Eddie has solid reasons for being the way he is. And sin embargo, I see him with eyes of understanding. I always will. I just think it regretful that due to what happened to him before, there will never be any connection at all. That is something the other people who were bad and wrong and manipulative did to him. Take away his ability to trust folks. Eddie with his commentaries took my ability away to trust him too. But, I will back the man as a fellow independentista till the end. At a distance and with neutrality. That is what I should have done from the beginning. etc. etc. That I am some gov't operative dedicated to catching independentistas mayores in pr.com. I guess I am Jane Bond now. (Insert cheap James Bond music here!), Lol. WRONG again. But, it sure has taught me to accept there are some people with some off the wall commentary on this site. Yeah, cuz I am supposedly 'educated', and have 'connections' I am waiting to trap someone. It never occurrs to many others that someone may join this site to be with boricuas, socialize or share their views without Machiavellian plots involved. He and others think some weird stuff on this medium, that has nothing to do with reality. Including you Stanley. I have nothing to do with burguesia. At all. But because of what people choose to believe about others they truly don't know, they assume. And the assumptions are dead wrong. And all this cheap chisme is not worth it.

I am going to write about productive stuff. If I can. And for the info of many. My family is beautiful. And they say many lovely things to me. Especially Mom. But she sees that as private and not for people like Stan or others to view or read about. And I am seeing how wise that woman is. For electronic space is distorted. It is. And rarely reflects the entirety of any person or life. It is just words open to misinterpretations, distortions and misreadings. And to people with too much pride or arrogance to admit failures and mistakes in public.

Stanley, you can take your opinions to someone who cares. I don't really care about them. They lack analysis and intelligence. Waneko is someone I always liked, he is a thinker. So is Eddie. Even POV is a bit of a thinker too. Irregardless of his right wing politics. You, are a bochinchero superficial. And have proven it over and over. Nothing more to say. But, who is to say who you are at home with your kids? You could be someone really wonderful. So, I don't go there. I hope you don't go there with me. If you do, I am going to have to treat you like El Jibaro. An insensitive ass with no respect for others. Don't make me do it. Maintain respect.


In terms of mi esposo. El es mi vida. Mi sol y mi mas amado. But neither of you don't have a right to say one damn thing about him. YOU don't know him. And never will. And men who insult other men they have never met at all are big idiots and wimps in my opinion. LOL. And another opinion of mine, and then I am through with personal posts that lead to dead ends...I and Guaili are the only one on this site who have brought in family members to post. If we thought our family relationships poor or that they would trash us in public why would we do that? The answer is we would not. We have confidence in our relationships with them that is why we invite them here. And we enjoy our families. Neither Ed or Stanley or Leticia g or Ecuajey's granny is not online too. Why is that? That is so stupid. Many people in here do that. I could be just as distorted in analysis and think they don't do that cuz nobody wants to be associated with them. Or I could be realistic and say, maybe not everyone is into this sort of activity. And maybe for them they like it, but no todo el mundo le ve la tostada. I won't judge them for not having people online who know them.

Final note for Eddie, I like your recent posts in which you deal with the Vieques issue with intelligence and socialism. I believe in that. And from now on....I will only deal with you on those matters. You will never admit you hurt me on purpose and with deliberation. I won't expect anything from you. I hurt so much about losing that lovely father who was so bright and intelligent and fun to talk to. And so were you. But my father was a man with a whole heart, a lot less pain and a lot more belief in love and trust than you. And therefore, one has to cope with you without love and trust. And just being compas in independentismo is enough for me. But thanks for your education. Never underestimate your value Eddie on that level. Ever. Your sacrifices as a freedom fighter for MLK and for constantly seeking justice was not in vain. That work NEVER is. It makes your life already a success. And no one will be able to take that away. That is where the truth lies. My mother has suffered because of her dedication to Vieques it cost her a body part, and illness and many trials. So did it with mi Titi. And it cost me hurt as well. But all of it is worth it. Because ultimately what is important is what we do to better the society and the group. And not in a selfish mode. But in an unselfish mode. And having a bunch of foreign investors dictating to Puerto RIcans about things is disrespectful. Sustainable development is the best road to take. Without ripoff artists and unethical behavior. Stan already accepts unethical behavior and selfishness and exploitation and wage slavery as the norm and he won't challenge it. He is dead in the water. And a burgues wannabe til the end. Cuz he is not part of that elite either yet would not mind being let in. It is so transparent. He should be more concerned about getting la isla to be all it can be. To him, the only way is capitalism and some class conscious setup. With the brilliant on top and the ralea on the bottom. Except he fails to note that the brilliant are rarely people like him.

Suki

[Edited by Suki on 3rd September 2003 at 17:16]

[Eddier1]

Suki, why do you always jump to conclusions and forget what you have posted? Well anyhow, back to square one with you. Never did you compliment the music first; what you did was tell me to compare that experience with how "dirty" I can get in the Politics forum. Then, when I got tough with you, and said I will treat you like anyone else who gives me a problem unjustly, then and only then, did you back down and apologize. As to saying you are a "Jane Bond", never said that, what I said it is possible because of your education and connections, and your INSISTENCE that I either visited with you and hubby or call you on the phone. That I was like a crazy fox about that is understandable, because of the history of what happened to many of us Independentists in Puerto Rico and in the U.S.. Remember the 'carpetas" eh, and remember how many Independentistas were murdered on the Island and elsewhere in the world, who were Independentistas Puertorriquenos, like me. These are the facts ma'mm, only the facts, and don't you dare call me a wimp because I am chary about you, who seems to me to have a penchant for behavior, one way one time and then in a flash, the opposite. You think me a devil because I am chary, eh, what with the crap that has come down on us Puertorriquenos who are Independentists, and not so long ago, either. Listen, I asked you to stow the personalisms in my last to you, because of gossip mongering possibilities, but you obviously don't know when to let it go. Now, it's Guaili that you are bringing into the conversation, eh; he and I came to an understanding and he apologized and I accepted his apology. Sure when he first came to the forum, he was El Nene, brash and insulting, and using the jargon of the populacho cursi, and I didn't like it and told him so. He blew up! and called me and my family some really bad things, and I never spoke to him again until a year later, he wrote that apology post and I forgave him and accepted his apology. But now you play the disrupter and seem to be trying to open old wounds that have healed quite nicely. If I didn't know that you are a grown woman, it is you who I would accuse of being vicious in all of this, and will loathe you as una perra/brat! Now, I need say no more, as you need some sort of control over me and others on this forum, and I refuse to comply and treat you like you were some queen who is justified in having some adoring entourage. You're simply not worth that Suki, and yes there is a deep anticommunism in you, and I tried to teach you at least the basics and you failed, because in my honest opinion, you had predilictions and/or biases from the start. Hey, I don't consider it waste of my time to have tried. But what you are "pulling" now, and all you references to your dear husband, are not going to change my opinion of you one single bit. You might even want him to come from Colorado looking for me. And I don't give a damn, because if it is meant to be, either he the victor in a confrontation or me, even at my viejitou age (I am still about 6 feet tall, though bent a bit by PPS) but never mind, or me the victor. Okay?

[Suki]

Just let it go Ed. I am not some queen. I am just a human being. Just like you. Adios. Suki

I never meant to hurt you or manipulate you or have my husband or anyone come after you. Just do what you always do. Obviously you have some image or whatever. Guaili is guaili. You are you. Leticia is Leticia. people are people. I don't judge you. Olvidalo.

[Eddier1]

Originally posted by Suki
Just let it go Ed. I am not some queen. I am just a human being. Just like you. Adios. Suki

I never meant to hurt you or manipulate you or have my husband or anyone come after you. Just do what you always do. Obviously you have some image or whatever. Guaili is guaili. You are you. Leticia is Leticia. people are people. I don't judge you. Olvidalo.

Yeah right!, forget about it! But one last thing, stop telling me what to do. I don't take any orders from the likes of you. Never! so quit it, because you will never be my BOSS; I take my orders from the People, in point of fact, the real humans who are of our communal mind-set, viz., scientific socialists and/or communists. Hindu gal, come out for what you really are, and post by the light of the moon! You'll really enjoy it even if you look like a twit on this forum. So what, eh....hmmm.

[Suki]

Eddie, Lol.
Last time I checked I was a human being. I think we went over this old stuff before. I think I do recall telling you that my emotional attachments had nothing to do with you Ed. And that it was someone else's pain far away. And I have always wished you the best.
I am not here to project any kind of image of some gov't agent, or twit, or dummy or queen or hindu. That was very low of you Ed, I call myself a yogist now. I did not get a chance to delve into communist theory with you very deeply. Because of time constraints and my tendency to ask stupid questions at the beginning before going on to deeper questions. You can blame me if that is ok for you. I don't care. Tirame la responsibilidad.
If you think you did well with spending time with me. You are right you did. I always appreciate your time and efforts. I just can't make big decisions in life online with someone who's last name I don't know. And whom I don't see face to face everyday. That is sound logic for me. And besides you are the only person who is a male in my entire lifetime who has called me a perra. NO ONE has ever done that. That is disrespectful and not kind. You have been pissed about something for a long time with me. I don't know anymore what it is. The dirty politics reference was on how much personal mudslinging insults are thrown on that forum. And I am not saying others don't do that either. I am not good at tumbacabeza politics. I just aint.
I know about las carpetas and what we have gone through as a people together. As Puerto Ricans. It is not right. I just don't exclude any puertorriqueno just because they are not some political label. La isla is divided enough as it is. As a people we are deeply spiritual, like you mentioned. And we forget that at times. How can you even think I would boss you EDDIE? You are the least bossable person on Planet Earth. You are. Lol.

I know you have your opinion about me set in stone. Lol. Ay, Ed, if you only knew how much you have influenced me on this forum. And how much I have learned from you. But, your tendency to call me names and put me down, and be pissed at me without giving me specifics and then saying you don't believe my version. It is non-productive and dead end stuff. It is. I invite Leticia to my home as she has invited me. I invited Guaili. And Ecuajey before his trust with me was destroyed. I invited el aleman. I enjoy people. I always have and just see this as a means of getting to know people better. If you refuse to do whatever. Hey, esta bien. No sweat as you say. Cuidate eddie. Suki.

Why would I invite you to my home? Especially after all these putdowns you put on your last post? I will be honest,and if you are as tired of all this horrible crap as I am you will realize I am being honest. BECAUSE you are someone who is bright, intelligent, educated and informed. And because you have lived a full life dedicated to principles you have given your all to. Because I see the childhood struggles from the beginning with colic from your mom being ill and you being given whole milk, your struggles in childhood, that should have been time for lightheartedness and carefreeness, and playing ball and being travieso with your friends, instead spent in some hospital bed. At least you had books. I have a lot in common there with you. Your difficulties in the Great Depression, and the Spanish Brigada, the Flying Tigers, China, Spain, many places, your work for those who gave you their solidarity and whom you have seen dedication in. The loves you have had, and the people who you have lost. WWII and the Intrepid, and your life on the sea. Your courage under Duress. And the painful problems with you know who and what. I see that life. And I think what a pleasure to have such a person to speak to and be with. Even for a short visit.

You know I have a piece of music that I associate with each person in this forum. Yours is Ode to Joy by Beethoven. The reflection of a triumphant life. Oh, Eddie. I can't cope with anymore putdowns from you. I can't. I got to stay neutral. You know no 8 reminds me of you too.

I had biases? Of course soy una vieja de 37 annos con filosofia de muchos annos. And frankly, I would think you need to be a teacher with young people. You would be good at that. But, I think face to face seria mejor. Maybe I am old fashoined. I just wanted to be talking to you about a bunch of themes as penpal email buddies for the longest time. That was my dream. I did not know you wanted to make me someone who is orthodox and has an epiphany and such. Now, that I think on it. You were beautiful. You wanted to do something truly bueno for me through your eyes and values. Me, I just wanted to talk and be with my papa figure. And enjoy all his personal qualities I liked. We hurt each other in the process. I wish I could take it back Eddie. And start over with a clean slate. But, I think you don't want to forgive. And I can't deal with anymore putdowns. And disrespectful perra references. I can't. Not worth it. Now, let us see if you can start threads in philosophy for the enjoyment of all with all the greats in Marxism analyzed thoroughly by you. YOU will be educating not only me but all people. And potentially get some real epiphany folks there. I have faith in that and in your writing abilities. I always have. Yo, soy una viejita Eddie, el cambio es dificil sin verte tu carita. Para mi por lo menos. But, you will be successful with many. I have confidence in that.

But, I can't do anything. I can't. I am just some idiot woman to you Ed. And always will be. But, I am someone important to those who love and know me. And that is more than enough for me. Don't give lena to the unjust. They don't see humanity. They see enemies. I never will.

And Eddie, don't you dare call my husband a wimp!! I don't care who you are, me insultas el marido and you will be considered a fool by me. I don't let anyone talk crap about my husband. And he is too much a gentleman to be peleando con un Senor como usted. I have no doubt you have enough penchant for pleitos to attempt to beat him up. LOL, and you have so much feistiness you just might be successful despite being thirty something years older than he is. He is a man. And a fine one. So are you, you feisty boricua, despite your old age and picapleito personality!! And that sharp merciless putdown tongue of yours!! Lol. Me hicistes reir con eso. Hector, vete a Nueva York pa' pelear con el Eddie. Please. If I send him over there it would be with a big basket of comida and something sweet to eat to take out all that vinagre out of you!! LOL. But, el que dice a mi esposo wimp no tiene mi simpatia. Plus, And the facts are just the facts, you have a long list of insulting words and things you have said to me. I got to give up the ghost and all the rest. With all that hypothesizing you do, I am amazed at the windmills of your head Ed. I only am sad that my father wasn't allowed to be as feisty as you and live as long as you had. You are lucky.

[Edited by Suki on 5th September 2003 at 19:16]

[El_Jibaro]

Dear Sooky-Sooky:

I told you that the geriatric and extremely filthy Marxist Reptile would go after your throat when you turned down his filthy advances, and guess what?

IT HAPPENED!

Oh, well, as JESUS said:

• "you can't be a prophet among your own people..."

Have a nice and BLESSED weekend!

Manny

[Suki]

Just how productive is it to find flaws with independentistas as individuals on this forum? The answer is it not productive. As individuals we are flawed. And if I go by some criterion.....I could find flaws with all of them as individuals. That is who we are imperfect seres humanos. El Boricua for being catholic and a believer, Guaili for being religious, young and brash,etc. La Bambina for being religious. Etc. etc.

And I won't mention others and continue. All don't fall into orthodoxy. Yet all are independentistas. ALL. I think I see them all as humans and fellow independentistas. And I love them all as compas on that level. Always will. God Bless All Puerto Ricans. And a special love for the independentistas of all categories.

SUKI