Mr.Bean

[Rajkumar]

COLOR TV
Mr.Bean is buying a TV. Do you have color TVs?

Sure.

Give me a green one, please.
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LONG FLIGHT

Mr.Bean calls British Airways. How long does it take to fly to London?

Just a sec, comes an answer.Thank you. says the Mr.Bean and hangs up!
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Drunken Driving

Mr.Bean was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the
trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel
on his table and shouted, Order, order.

Mr.Bean immediately responded, Thank you, your honour, I'll have a scotch
and soda.

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Mr.Bean went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, Doctor,
will I be able to read after wearing glasses?
Yes, of course, said the doctor, why not!
Oh! How nice it would be , said Mr.Bean with joy, I have been illiterate for
so long.

[Rajkumar]

Mr.Bean and the donkey

Having lost his donkey Mr.Bean, got down to his knees and started
thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for ?"

Mr.Bean replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding
the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

...........................................................

Mr.Bean and Binocular

While travelling Mr.Bean was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying
binoculars.

Mr.Bean simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."

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One day Mr.Bean's neighbor visits him and sees Mr.Bean crying.
The neighbour: What had happened?
Mr.Bean: My mother died yesterday.
The neighbor made him some coffee and settled him down a little and then left. The next day the same neighbor
went back over to the house and found Mr.Bean crying again.
The neighbour: Why are you crying today Mr.Bean?
Mr.Bean: I just got off of the phone with my brother, his mother died too.

..........................................................

TRAIN TO Paris

Mr.Bean and John are in a railwaystation. John
asks the clerk: Can I take this train to Paris?

No, answers the Railway man.

Can I? asks Mr.Bean.

[Rajkumar]

Mr.Bean went to a grocery stores collected the grocery and came to the counter and person at the counter started preparing bill for the items. Mr.Bean asked " Where is the fat ?" The person didn't understand what Mr.Bean was saying and said "Excuse me sir, FAT???" Mr.Bean : "Yes Fat, Give me the fat" Mr.Bean started shouting and arguing with the person and all people gathered and Manager of that grocery stores came there and asked Mr.Bean about the problem. Then Mr.Bean said "Hey Manager look, I took a yogurt from your stores and it was written 'FAT FREE' on that but this guy is not giving me the fat.

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Jesus
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Mr.Bean, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Mr.Bean arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Mr.Bean arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?". Pat came the reply, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

[Rajkumar]

Mr.Bean in Multi National Company

Mr.Bean joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,
"Damn it"! Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded,
"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No", replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"

Mr.Bean shouted back,
"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No.", replied the Managing Director.

"Good!", replied Mr.Bean and put down the phone!


Mr.Bean's Parents
Mr.Bean and Mr.Texas were always boasting of their
parents achievements to each other.
Mr.Texas : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?'
Mr.Bean : 'Yes, I have'
Mr.Texas : 'Well, my father dug it.'
Mr.Bean : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead
sea?'
Mr.Texas : 'Yes, I have.'
Mr.Bean: 'Well, my father killed it

[Rajkumar]

Swimming Not Allowed
An American tourist in London walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping.She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Mr.Bean the gardner appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said, 'Madam! Swimming not allowed!''You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!', the American woman scolded him. Mr.Bean replied, 'Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed.

[Rajkumar]

Mr.Bean was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then the foreman asked Mr.Bean why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better.
Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

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Mr.Bean, a Japanese, and a German were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the German took the seat, and Mr.Bean took the door.
After a while of walking he German asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I can drink the fluid." Next Mr.Bean asked the German "Why did you bring the seat?" So the German said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand.
I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked Mr.Bean why he had chosen the door.
TheMr.Bean quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window.

[ricagirlsay123]

I luv your comedies. By the way where do you get all these jokes from? I would like to share a joke too you know. Give me a hint.