Fair Warning!!!

[Kristen]

Hello again, No problem writing back, always glad to help when I can. I don't live in PR now, nor have I ever, I live in PA. As far as not knowing Spanish, you should be fine, in general the people there are usually very helpful and appreciate the smallest effort to understand and teach yourself the language. Of course it is important to know at least some basic words and phrases in case you're ever in a bind. OK let me see if I can remember all the questions. I'm not going to say ALL PR men are dogs but 98% of the ones I've met have babies by different women and aren't with any of them usually. They like to go out and have their fun and a lot of times do stray from home. The women do 'flaunt' themselves more than Americans but it's not usually a 'trampy' thing. In that culture from a young age, females are encouraged to dress sexy and wear makeup and be more sensual over all, so it carries over into adulthood. Most look and act a lot older than they are and a lot of times that gets them into trouble with having children at a young age. Spanish women feel more comfortable with themselves and their bodies. The culture accepts women who aren't 'stick thin' and in fact they prefer it! As for where I met my ex, it was at a club, I'd advise against meeting men their, at least the kind you would want to marry, if that's what you're in to. OK, hope this help out. talk to ya' later Kris

[Cachito]

To-beastak,regarding-your-concern-about-not-speaking-Spanish-in-Puerto-Rico:


Let-me-relate-my-experience,ok?


I-lived-in-PR-for-one-year-and-traveled-all-over-the-island.-My-command-of-the-Spanish-language-was-limited-to-a-lot-of-the-bad-words,most-of-the-body-parts-and-the-ability-to-tell-a-girl-she's-pretty-or-a-woman,she's-very-beautiful...


Anyway,whenever-I-was-introduced-to-someone,I-would-always-inquire,"Como-estas?"


Without-fail,the-person-I-addressed-would-just-stand-there,with-a-really-confused-look-on-their-face!


Then,finally,after-about-a-minute,they-would-say-(in-English)....


"WHAT?????"


Blew-me-away-every-time!

:-)


On-a-more-serious-note:


If-you-plan-on-driving-yourself-around-PR,then-I-would-suggest-learning-the-meaning-of-the-traffic-signs-and-the-road-signs.


Don't-assume-it's-impossible-to-get-lost,just-because-you're-on-an-island!

:-)

[Thor]

I can tell you about Puerto Rico, I am here in the Island, I am a Puerto Rican male, and have lived here as well as in the United States. So whatever you ask I will be extremely honest with you because I know my culture and its short comings. I have read some of your questions, and so far Kristen is right on the money, with the exception that, not all Puerto Ricans know how to dance, and then, that all depends what kind of dance, but in general not "everybody" knows how to dance. Men here are dogs, 99.9% if you find a really decent one, then be even more careful, because that means he is a real actor,LOL, having babies, well, it seems like that, is the national past time here, unfortunately men here are macho, and that comes with a repertoire of things, attitudes, violence, and sometimes even death, in case you did not know this, P.R. have the highest incidence of women killed by their partners, and that is a fact, domestic violence is also very high. Please don't let me scare you, this is a nice place, and you can enjoy it, but, like they say, "if you are a cockroach, then don't go to a chicken dance, looking like one" Here you have to be a bit more aware and a bit more tougher to really be cool. I am here at your service for any more questions you might have.

[beastak]

thor- hey there, i just read your posting..thanks a lot, this is so perfect,...finally someone who can give me true, helpful, honest information!! it's really disheartening to hear you, a p.r. man yourself, say that yes, if fact, p.r. men are dogs--thats' so sad! so, is your home trying to do anything about the high abuse rate?!?! it's not like that can just keep being accepted! I met a guy on a cruise recently, he was from puerto rico, also. granted, i couldn't speak a word of spanish and he couldn't speak any english, but he seemed so sincere...and like, such a charming, honest, kind gentleman, yet he seemed a little wild , which was good so, from what you're saying, he was just being a really good actor? oh, and do most p.ricans speak english--b/c he didn't know like, any, maybe 10 words, or so. does that have anything to do with social class, or anything? gosh, i don't even know where to start w/all my questions--i'm so interested in your culture. how do p.r feel towards mainland americans? is it true that p.r. is humid, crowded? what did you think of america? where and how long did you live here? did you like it? what did you notice as the biggest/best/worst difference? i'm gonna cut this short-i'm going out dancing-and i'm sorry if this is a little scattered/unorganized/unclear(i'm in a hurry). but, i just had to make sure to write u back and let u know i was interested, and that i want 2 keep in touch! until later
thankful/excited,
amanda

[Thor]

well, let's see how can we proceed with this inquiry...First every culture has its characteristics, those characteristics set it apart from other cultures, in Saudi arabia women have absolutely no rights, and a father under the Islamic law can kill its daughters for certain crimes without due punishment, In India also women have very few if any rights, so families with a few girls in the family can kill newborn girls upon their birth, just that simple, and so on, well you might say that this are legal issues rather than cultural, but, legal issues are the culture since the culture has to sanction the law to make it work, we could go into more specific issues concerning culture, for example, in Puerto Rico the culture still remains predominantly "macho" this means that in many issues women have no power, they may have a voice in the issue but no power, there may be laws, but, women find it dificcult to have the law work for them, due to the resistance of the culture to those laws, sometimes that resistance come from women themselves, who have been socialize under the culture. Machismo has sooo many characteristics that it would be imposible for me to openly discuss them all here, but, lets say, that machismo is the believe that women have a pre-dispose place in society and that to step out of that pre-disposition is a threat to the status quo. This set of norms sometimes invisible to the outsider, covers the spectrum of the social order, while this have been changing, due to the fact that poverty is still very widespread in Puerto Rico it is in that niche where women find it sometimes very hard to be free, however, it would be naive to think that only there in the poorest place, is where machismo resides, not so, machismo permeates all the levels of our society, but it is there in the poor barrios where women are treated the most violently, and then there are institutional machismo and so on and I really can disscus it all. Machismo is not like something you spot on a man's face like chicken pots, is not visible, and sometimes you discover that a man is a macho men when he denies you the right to something, or his views are so one sided, or the way he acts, and so on, very hard to just pin point those characteristis, machismo is rather a syndrome, not one thing. As far as what is being done? well there is the legislative powers enacting laws and trying to provide awareness, sometimes with trajic consequences, since like I said there is resistance. In other words women die when they resist, but, as whole there has been improvement and it will continue to improve even though is slow, this is what we could call generational issues. As far as attitudes towards Americans, well, that is a very complex issue, very, very complex, it would take me all night to explain the in and outs of all that, so lets say they are tolerated, love and hated all at the same time. But, for the most part unless you wander into the wrong places you will be ok. If you stay in the tourist areas or in the main roads, or drive around the island with someone you know, you will be safe. Also, It is best and highly advisable to never touch the subject of politics while here in the island with anyone, too touchy and right down dangerous, especially if you are white and American. If you are interested in our culture then I suggest that you beef yourself up on our history and the relationship of PR with the US in the last 100 years, the socioeconomics, its colonialism, its status as a commonwealth, women rights, slavery, and everything that affects the culture today due to its past. If you are just a romantic, meaning, someone who just likes the romantic stories about the latin male and its suppose sexual prowess LOL, then that is alright too, all in all, PR can be a very nice place to visit, lots of places to see, plenty of beaches to swimm in, plenty of fishing, lots of place to dance and eat, and the people are very nice also, especially when you have money to spend, and since you are an American you will appear like a big green dollar to them, LOL, There is also plenty of rain forest to see, and lots of museums, and cultural history to learn, Theaters with the latest movies, and lots of malls, all in a very modern setting. Well I think I covered a lot of ground here Good luck!

[beastak]

hey Thor-
i don't have much time right now/lately-at all-2 write u back!! and i want 2...what u wrote was so great, u gave me so much info., you were honest and truthful, etc., etc.,etc. anyways, wht i'm trying 2 say is thank u for the email, i have plenty more questions(p.r. just facinates me soo much!), and that i'll b writing u again in the future!!
amanda

[Thor]

You are welcome Amanda, have fun and enjoy the breeze!!!