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SEX OR NO SEX THAT IS THE QUESTION

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Old 22nd February 2001, 00:48
PuertoRicanVirgen PuertoRicanVirgen is offline
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Question

WELL I AM A PUERTORICAN AND I AM A VIRGEN! I AM 22 YEARS OLD AND I NEVER HAD SEX AND I DONT KNOW WHY! OKAY THIS MAY SOUND NAIVE BUT IVE HAD THE CHANCE TO HAVE SEX BUT I DONT KNOW I JUST DONT GO FOR IT JUST THE IDEA THAT IT IS GONNA HURT FREAKS ME OUT AND I JUST DONT GO FOR IT. AND NO I AM NOT THOSE GIRL THAT SAY " O VIRGEN TILL MARRIAGE" THOUGH I RESPECT THAT BUT I AM NOT ON FOR THAT BUT JUST THE ACT SCARE ME OUT AND THAT IS WHAT IS WHAT KEEPING ME FROM HAVING SEX IS THIER SOMETHIN WRONG WITH ME! JUST THE IDEA OF HAVING SOMETHIN IN ME THAT DOES NOT GO IN THERE FREAKS ME OUT I THINK I AM GONNA BE HURTING FOR LIFE OR SOMETHIN LIKE THAT I DONT KNOW I JUST KNOW THAT SEX FREAKS ME OUT! HELP PLEASE
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Old 22nd February 2001, 00:56
PuertoRicanVirgen PuertoRicanVirgen is offline
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QUESTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF I EVER DO IT HOW CAN I KNOW I AM DOIN IT RIGHT OR HOW AM I GONNA KNOW THAT I A SATISFYING THE MAN I AM WITH THAT ARE QUESTION THAT COME TO MY MINE AND THAT IS ANOTHER THING THAT STOPS ME FROM HAVING SEX
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Old 25th February 2001, 09:39
isabelm isabelm is offline
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Wink Puertorriquen Virgen

Hi cutie, I've been in the love game a few decades now, and I can only advise you from my own experience, which is not to say that it's the only advise that's out there for you.

Anyway, first I wanna tell you, that sex is one thing, and making-love is another. Men can tend to confuse the two. And that could cause one a heart break. So I suggest that before you engage in sexual behavior, you make sure it's for whichever of the two kinds above you conciously choose to have.

Secondly, it's been my experience (and again, I've had quite a few in my years) that a relationship peeks at the point where sex happens. After that, the excitement and enchantment that the relationship once had, may no longer be that exciting or enchanting, especially for the man. So please please be very certain that the relationship is at the point where sex is the next natural and correct sequence in the relationship.

Remember, sex, or love-making is a form of communication. It's telling your partner, I really love you and need to share myself even more with you.

If sex comes too early into the relationship, I'm afraid it's only sex; and not an exchange of love. I've ruined many a relationship because of this, and the hurt a woman can feel for having lost the love she once shared w/her man could be very devistating and traumatic.

Finally, if you want to learn about how to be a good lover, I suggest you go into the Redbook magazine link (redbook.com?), they have a whole open board on just sex tips. It's very clean and not porno. It's just married people helping anyone answer ANY sex questions & tips they may need for a healthy sex life. It gave me lots of confidence.

Good luck and be wise.
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Old 26th February 2001, 07:38
Italia_Lena Italia_Lena is offline
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Arrow some advice for you

I understand what you are saying, for I was once in your shoes. I feared the act of sex. I was a virgin up until I was 23. The reason, because I never found the guy that I thought I wanted to share such an intimate experience with. Until the year 1999. I fell in luv and I fell hard and deep. Isabelm gives great advice. Being sure that the relationship is ready for that next step is very important. If you are just out and having sexual encounters with men, than that is all it is. An encounter, there is no love. In my situation, I thought this man loved me very deeply and it turned out differently unfortunatley. We all make mistakes, and not a single person here on earth is perfect. What you must do, is be sure to "know" in your heart that you want to do it. I do not regret anything I did because I know in my heart I loved.

As for not knowing how to do it, or what to do, I think the best thing I ever did was explain to my boyfriend that I was a virgin. My best friend told me that would be the best thing to do. It was hard, and I felt embarrassed, but after I told him he understood me much better. He understood why I was so figity sometimes, and very nervous. He helped relax me and yes it did hurt the first couple of times, but nothing you will not be able to tolerate. If the guy is considerate and knows how you feel he will do everything in his power to make you feel comfortable. Good luck!
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Old 28th February 2001, 15:38
Edwin_O Edwin_O is offline
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Smile HI PRV

Hi
What both those Women told you is true. the first time it is going to hurt. well i'm not a female but doctors and friends have said that. now their is nothing you can do about that. but make sure that your first time is special.i wanted my first time to be special. and the way i did that was to make Love(not sex) with someone that i loved. that person made me feel warm inside everytime she was near. well you also wanted to know how to do it. how to make a Man satisfy. well for me it is the other way around. me being a man i feel that i must satisfy the woman.and the way i do that is by pleasuring them and making sure that they are able to rach an orgasim first. you ask yourself how do i know that i have reach and orgasim. beleive me you will know. it is like a natural drug. when you finish you feel like the engery inside of you is gone just like that.the best thing you can do to make your experiance better is to speak to your partner. tell them were it feels good. and always let them be aware if you are in pain. unless it is a "good" pain. remember dont worry about satisfing us guys. the act itself is satisfying enough. besides most likely you would be in a position were he is in complete control.
so good luck
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Old 1st March 2001, 00:33
Saint_Tiger Saint_Tiger is offline
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Thumbs up What does it really take?

Being a virgin is a hard thing to acomplish. I was 13 when I lost it to an 18 year old girl. Yes, I'm a guy.

The important thing is that you feel comfortable. Apart from all that stuff of being prepared in the relationship (which I agree is super important), you have to make sure that YOU are ready. And it might be that you feel that those people that you are with will not make that special night special.

I can tell you one thing though, if you've got a man lacking in experience, make sure you're in control. Cuz it will hurt like hell if he goes hard and fast. But if he knows how to react to your own body's reactions, you'll find that very very shortly after the pain, will come sensations that are better left undescribed.

As far as knowing what to do? I can tell you two things, love is an art and don't lie still. ) May sound funny, but one thing that I've had every man I've talked to tell me,... we hate it when the woman just lies there. Build a rythm, make your bodies act as one, wrap your legs around him(if you can -- sometimes the pleasure is too much to control your body's reactions), put your arms around him, make him feel that you are his and that he is yours.

Love is an art and all art is different. The only way to truly obtain perfection in "art" when it comes to couples is to communicate. You and your partner are artists trying to learn how to better their art (pleasing the other person). No communication and you'll soon find that your love making has become repetitive, dull, boring, short and unsatisfying.

In Leymann's terms, If you're faking your orgasm, then it's just not working. ;o)

Also don't overdo it when it comes to preparing for sex, or it will become monotonous.

From my own experience, having sex with a virgin was the hardest thing to do. I found that that is where your "artistry" is put to the test. It's not that its any harder to satisfy her. The secret is to making the pain as short as possible so the pleasure can commence.
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Old 11th January 2002, 02:47
Colon-H Colon-H is offline
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Colon-H
Cool Be Patient

Girl,
Be patient, you waited this long then you might as well wait until you're married or find that special one. Sex is everywhere and making love, well thats crap. Love has so many meanings, intimate is another. There are so words to express sex, whats important is that you agree to do it with that other person, and that you use proper protection. The first time can be many things, painful, great, and even confusing. Some people don't even know what to expect, the truth of it all is that the time will come and when it does make sure you're sober, comfortable, and willing.
AND YES I"M A GUY
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