Updated PR Resume and then some...

[JaneMas]

Puerto Rican Resume

Martha Maria Figueroa Rodriguez De la Cruz De Los Santos De Rivera De la Rosa
(meaning she married 4 De La times!)
15 South Projectos, Apartamento El Baisman
El Bronx, Nueva Jork, wung wung for sero sero

Ohh oh Plenero look where she's at???

Selula Fon: (917) 555-5555 (today is terned off but I will get de monee
order tumoro)
Fon de la casa: neybor's fon, (718)999-9999 (jus ask for me and they will
jell for me)

Objected:
Juan day (maybe after dis job) I wanna opin a Day Kare in mine own
apartment for teng kidz.

Skellz:
I wash my sisters kidz wheng she goes to de dancing at the Latin Quarta, I
shange the kidz pamperz, misk de milk and shocolate Quick in da botella
whilg I wash de novellas at de saing tine.

Ejucation:
I grajuaded from fif grade. Deng I grajuaded from aighf grade. Deng I
learned a lot from my tia Juana, she let me quit skool so she cood show me
to babysit my cozins, Juan, Pito, Tito, Flaco, Papo, Chavela, Chavelo, and
Yvette (pobrecita, she dunt even nose who her papi iz!!!)

Work Esperience:
Wheng I got tired of babysittin, I worked in a fabrica sowing and stealing
dresses. Reason for leabing: My jefe Hector, tried to hit on me and hiz
lady 'Luz Maria' caught himg. Deng I got anofa jub at B.I.M. storez, I wuz
eng charge of foldeng de genes. Reason for leabing: Tio Juan died in my
other country and I hadda go to de funeraria. I din't no hing, but I hadda
go ova dare, ju no, for mortal support and all dat. So anyguay, my jefe got
mad and fired me. Deng I stayed home and sold ' Avon' cosmeticos. I hadda
to quik becose I orderd too mucho stuff for my familia and dey didn'g paid.
So weng 'Avon' axed me furr de monee I didng hab it. My last jub was at "Mi
Baby Papi Chulo Day Care" I wached all the kidz for all the moders who
hadda get ohf welfel.

References:
Jus call the payfon ecross de estreet and ask anywung ebout Maria La Loca,
everyone know me and dey tell ju all ebout mee.


Why Puerto Ricans are so cool???

Yo soy BORICUA, Aunque naciera en la luna.

We are a mix of the best of every race.

Our legal drinking age is 18.

We can't care less what other people think of us.

We are not only bilingual but we can speak "Spanglish"

Our women are the most beautiful in the world, (5 Miss Universe titles)

We are Hispanics, and yet AMERICANS

Mofongo (that's all I have to say)

In PR, any road will take you to a beach..... or a pub.

We are the only "territory" of another country with our own
Olympic teams.

We do everything under the sun... because we CAN!

Because even though we are a territory we are still a whole
NATION.

We don't need to take vacations to be in a tropical paradise.

In PR everything is really close.

I can call you sir ("USTED"), and insult you in the same
sentence.

Our Spanish is completely different than any other Spanish
speaking country.

We all have cool nicknames.

We have the best athletes in the world.

We make some of the best coffee of the world (official coffee of the vatican ).

WE CAN DANCE!!!!!!!!!

They come from around the world to hire our engineers and
scientists.

We are the country with the most roads by square mile (and there is
still traffic).

We have the longest swimming pool in the world (Cerromar)

La "Calle del Cristo" (San Juan P.R.) was the first road of "The
New World " to be paved.

86% of the rum drunk in the U.S. is from
Puerto Rico .

We are the major RUM manufacturer of the world.

We have more female engineers than any other country. (and you
still call us machistas?)

We know how to party, without absurd curfew laws.

The bats for the Movie Batman Forever were filmed in Las Cuevas
de Camuy, P.R.

We invented the MayoKetchup!

We kicked the DREAM TEAM's ass

Puerto Rico has one of the world's highest productivity ratios.

Salsa music was the fastest growing genre in the last 20 years.

Four Puerto Ricans received the Congressional Medal of Honor
Eurípides Rubio, Carlos Lozada, Héctor Santiago y Fernando Luis Ledesma
García.

Only 4 baseball players have 2 Home Runs in the same Inning; 3
of them are Puerto Ricans (Roberto Clemente, Roberto Alomar and Carlos
Baerga)

Tito Trinidad never went to the Olympics but defeated 4 gold
medal champions.

A Puerto Rican, Nellie Toledo, designed the 1984 Camaro
Berlinetta.

We were the 5th country in THE WORLD to have a radio station.
(before Washington D.C. )

Junior Cordero (Puerto Rican) won the Kentucky Derby 3 times.

There are only 7 phosphorescent lagoons in the world; we have 4 of
them.

Giovanni Hidalgo is considered the best percussionist in
THE WORLD.

Jose Feliciano is one of the top 3 guitar players in THE WORLD
(don't forget he is blind).

The Discovery 500; Solar car designed by the Mayaguez College
Of Engineering won 41 awards in Sunrayace , Iowa in 1993.

We established the first lottery system in the New World .


NOT TOO BAD FOR A 100 X 35 MILE ISLAND ...

[Selenia]

Looking For Maggie Mas./dietitian-1956

[Selenia]

Is anybody out there interested on chatting to someone here in Dallas Texas?

[Selenia]

Is anybody out there interested on chatting to someone here in Dallas Texas?