Flash: Puerto Rico Becomes 51st State

[verdadteller]

Associated Press-

Washington, DC- Saturday- September 14, 2001- Yesterday, Friday the 13th President Bush signed SR-IGOT666- the bill which shall immediately make Puerto Rico the 51st state in the Union. Upon learning about the passage of the bill Governor Sila Calderon fainted and had to be rushed to the Medical Center at the University of Puerto Rico where she is comfortably resting under heavy prozac sedation. In New York City- two Puerto Rican independentists were arrested attempting to carry bombs inside the Statute of Liberty. They were dragged away from the scene by National Park Police while they screemed, "que viva Albizu siempre". They are scheduled to appear for an Initial Appearance before New Jersey US Magistrate Court Judge G. Donald Haneke later today since the statute of liberty is technically in New Jersey territory.

In Humacao, two statehood suppporters who were apparently celebrating the signing of the statehood bill, crashed their Toyota SR5 into a tree and were instantly killed. Blood tests were taken and their blood alcohol level was .3. Traces of marijuana and cocaine were also found in their blood.

In Vineland, New Jersey most Puerto Ricans who were interviewed were not even aware that there was a statehood movement. One man, Jose "El Culicagao" Subervi- Torres stated, "now the brodas in the island can get 'stupid' welfare benefits".

Meanwhile back in Lares, Puerto Rico teenagers were rampaging through the street smashing all the windows in the plaza area. Television crews identified one of the youths as Junito Bicicleta, the illegitimate son of the famous puerto rican convict, Pedro Bicicleta.

In San Juan, 2000 ELA supports declared that they were immediately leaving Puerto Rico and plan to start a commune in the farm formerly occupied by David Koresh, who died during an FBI seige in the mid 90s, along with numerous followers and children.

Former Governeror Pedro Rossello was quoted from his Martha's Vineyard residence, " I kept telling the people it was in their best interests, finally some of them listened".
As he sipped some Dom Perignon [1976] Rosa Meneses, the daughter of Puerto Rican patriot, Albizu Campos, asked him to pass the "alcapurrias" [a puerto rican fritter made out of banana or yuca dough]

Finally, FBI sources have received word that some of the Hartford, Connecticut based Macheteros are planning to rob a major northeast bank in an effort to procure large amounts of explosives to blow up the Puerto Rican capital.

[Just kidding people- just trying to make the point that we do not know what we want; and if we get it; we wont know what to do with it]

Paz hermanos

[El_Jibaro]

Tell us the TRUTH: you are not an estadista.

If you do I will openly apologize for calling you names .

[verdadteller]

Yea people- some of you already know that I support statehood, but I am a reasonable person with the emphasis on reason.

Yea Jibaro- I am a bonafide estadista but I have never belonged to any party, and probably never will. I think that the PNP and all other parties in Puerto Rico are full of crap. They are simply not honest with the people.

You see I believe that in a philosophical sense the best thing for Puerto Rico may be independence. However, I am no fool and do not want economic and social suicide in my island. Statehood offers the "best" hope for Puerto Rico. As I have stated in previous posts, I do not really like gringos that much. Nor do I have any illusions of any great white wave coming to Puerto Rico and saving us poor spics from ourselves. We have to be the controllers of our destinies. Statehood would primarily establish the legal framework for us to get out of the 'third world' and into the first. Beyond this I do not expect much else from the US.

At the same time I do not think it will happen since Puerto Ricans are so confused about what they want. There is no collective consensus and to some extent this was designed by the powers in Washington. You know, conquer and dividism.

Thirty years from now; maybe more we will still be talking about the same thing and nothing much will have change.

Sorry for being so cynical homes.

Nuff said compay.

[PhiDaWg61]

I was about to hop on the ferry with some C4!

[El_Jibaro]

Originally posted by verdadteller
Yea people- some of you already know that I support statehood, but I am a reasonable person with the emphasis on reason.

Yea Jibaro- I am a bonafide estadista but I have never belonged to any party, and probably never will. I think that the PNP and all other parties in Puerto Rico are full of crap. They are simply not honest with the people.

You see I believe that in a philosophical sense the best thing for Puerto Rico may be independence. However, I am no fool and do not want economic and social suicide in my island. Statehood offers the "best" hope for Puerto Rico. As I have stated in previous posts, I do not really like gringos that much. Nor do I have any illusions of any great white wave coming to Puerto Rico and saving us poor spics from ourselves. We have to be the controllers of our destinies. Statehood would primarily establish the legal framework for us to get out of the 'third world' and into the first. Beyond this I do not expect much else from the US.

At the same time I do not think it will happen since Puerto Ricans are so confused about what they want. There is no collective consensus and to some extent this was designed by the powers in Washington. You know, conquer and dividism.

Thirty years from now; maybe more we will still be talking about the same thing and nothing much will have change.

Sorry for being so cynical homes.

Nuff said compay.

Welcome to the Statehood Side of Politics, your very words: "Statehood would primarily establish the legal framework for us to get out of the 'third world' and into the first. Beyond this I do not expect much else from the US...", have shown that you are not a member of the EVIL EMPIRE wallowing in the filth of the Dark Force ideology.

Also watch out for the Marxist dogs lurking in here, ready to poison the debate, like a sick puppy born in Philadelphia in 1961...

Statehood will be expensive, just as anyone who has ever bought his/her first home knows. But Statehood will be the guarantee that Puerto Rico does not fall prey to the "Marxist dogs of the Caribbean": Cuba, the Colombian Drug-financed Marxist Forces, the Pro-Castro Venezuelan Regime, and the Castro-lackeys in our own Puertorican Backyard.

[Nacionalista]

LOL!!!

Gee wizzz verdadteller, thansk a lot. Now I had to assemble my computer back together because I thought something was wrong with it.

My first reaction to your post was "I didn't get that memo".

So I thought someting was wrong with my system and took it apart.