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Young Men -VS- Older Men?

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  • Young Men -VS- Older Men?

    Here is my problem. I'm dating someone at the present moment whom I really care about and love. But throughout the past 7 to 8 months I started talking with some guy that I met who is older than I am. I'm 22 and he is 39. I'm starting to lose interest in my boyfriend who is really nice and sweet BUT who pays minimal attention to me. Now its the total opposite with this older guy, I feel like a Queen and more important I'm treated like one when we go out with our friends and my boyfriend can't come along because he has things to do or some other reason. Now my question is Could It be that I'm falling in love with this older man? Please Give me your advice.


    Have a great Day!

  • #2
    WepaBaby!

    Well let me give you my point of view, or "opinion". You say that you love your boyfriend very much. How long have you been with him? Have you tried to tell him that you feel like he does not pay enough attention to you? Is he the person you want, without any changing? In other words, do you love him for who he is, and not who you hope he will be? Now, after you have thought about those questions, you should move on and think of what makes you attracted to this 39 year old man. Be careful, reason being is it sounds like you have not know him that long and this may all just be a feeling of "newness" in a relationship. Infatuation, looks, the things he does or says. That all can change with the snap of a finger. Don't be so quick to think he is "YOUR NIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR" everyone puts on a front in the beginning. Find out what the "front" is before jumping in! Just be cautious girl! I am not saying to stop living your life... I am saying to live it smart! Is this the man you want to spend your life with. Does he possess inner qualities that are attributed to goodness, and kindness? Remember don't just think of what he does or says to you now. Look into that future of yours! You are young with a whole life ahead of you! Take it step by step and slowly make your choices carefully!

    Tu amiga,

    Italiana

    Comment


    • #3
      Italiana,
      saludos...gracias por contestar. Te dire que este chico de 39 es dulce romantico,nos llevamos bien, tenemos muchas cosas en comun.....son muchas cosas....referente a mi novio, si le he mencionado muchas veces como me siento y le entra por un oido y le sale por otro...y me estoy cansando....bueno nuevamente gracias por contestar gracias y estamos en contacto



      Wepababy


















      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by WepaBaby
        Italiana,
        saludos...gracias por contestar. Te dire que este chico de 39 es dulce romantico,nos llevamos bien, tenemos muchas cosas en comun.....son muchas cosas....referente a mi novio, si le he mencionado muchas veces como me siento y le entra por un oido y le sale por otro...y me estoy cansando....bueno nuevamente gracias por contestar gracias y estamos en contacto

        Hola,

        I thought your message interesting. The only thing I will say is POR FAVOR! Ten cuidado!!! Mira la edad que tiene el -- estas segura que el no es casado con unos nenes? O bueno, me imagino que por lo menos el fue casado and he is not coming clean about that. Is he un gringo/blanco or is he un Hispano? Because honey if he is Latino, it is very very strange que el todavia no es casado o que nunca fue casado! And you know if he has child support payments that is something he totally owes to his children and you cannot and should never argue with that. Would you be ready to deal with that including the mother of his kids -- ex wife or girlfriend? That is some huge stuff to deal with. Oiste???

        Even if he says he is not married or never has been, you have to do a lot of investigating. And if it turns out he never has been -- you ought to WONDER WHY??? And demand to know why. Has he been too imature and too much of a player to ever handle a major commitment, and why would he not be seeking out someone a bit closer to his age? What does that say?

        Finally, as an African American girlfriend enlightened me about men more than 10 years older -- this dude is more than 15 years older than you by the way. She said how men by all health statistics get sick faster and die faster than women. This is a very sad reality. But reality. Hija do you realize when you are the very very young age of 32 if this guy is not married and you stay with him -- he'll be 50 years old. When you are raring to go party hearty or go salsa your butt off, will he be ready willing and able to go for it, in terms of his health and energy? And there are the sex questions too. You will be in your sexual prime at 30 something, and he'll be 50 something. Think about that one.

        And looking at the numbers some more, when you are 40 something which is still very young for a woman since they live longer, he'll be 60 something and possibly start acquiring health problemas, do you want to be like a nurse taking care of him? And also, another thing my good girlfriend reminded me regarding men more than 10 years older, when he is not working as much due to sickness or retirement, girlfriend you'll be THE ONE having to work and support him and the household and bring home all the bacon!


        One last thing to find out. Are all his girlfriends your age? If that is the case then I hate to say this seems to me he definitely has a maturity problem or he likes to be able to dominate very young girls and feel superior, etc.

        To me personally, it is always nice if the male love interest is between 2 and 8 years older than the woman. At least two, and just under 10. To me that is perfect, you are more on the same wavelength physically and mentally also!

        Good luck and think hard about these things. I am happy to point them out because too often after months of hurt and pain, we think of what we SHOULD HAVE LOOKED INTO OR THOUGHT ABOUT, but then it is too late!


















        ten cuidado con esta
        coctelita

        Comment


        • #5
          ESTOY TRISTE

          Originally posted by lacoctel
          Originally posted by WepaBaby
          Italiana,
          saludos...gracias por contestar. Te dire que este chico de 39 es dulce romantico,nos llevamos bien, tenemos muchas cosas en comun.....son muchas cosas....referente a mi novio, si le he mencionado muchas veces como me siento y le entra por un oido y le sale por otro...y me estoy cansando....bueno nuevamente gracias por contestar gracias y estamos en contacto

          Hola,

          I thought your message interesting. The only thing I will say is POR FAVOR! Ten cuidado!!! Mira la edad que tiene el -- estas segura que el no es casado con unos nenes? O bueno, me imagino que por lo menos el fue casado and he is not coming clean about that. Is he un gringo/blanco or is he un Hispano? Because honey if he is Latino, it is very very strange que el todavia no es casado o que nunca fue casado! And you know if he has child support payments that is something he totally owes to his children and you cannot and should never argue with that. Would you be ready to deal with that including the mother of his kids -- ex wife or girlfriend? That is some huge stuff to deal with. Oiste???

          Even if he says he is not married or never has been, you have to do a lot of investigating. And if it turns out he never has been -- you ought to WONDER WHY??? And demand to know why. Has he been too imature and too much of a player to ever handle a major commitment, and why would he not be seeking out someone a bit closer to his age? What does that say?

          Finally, as an African American girlfriend enlightened me about men more than 10 years older -- this dude is more than 15 years older than you by the way. She said how men by all health statistics get sick faster and die faster than women. This is a very sad reality. But reality. Hija do you realize when you are the very very young age of 32 if this guy is not married and you stay with him -- he'll be 50 years old. When you are raring to go party hearty or go salsa your butt off, will he be ready willing and able to go for it, in terms of his health and energy? And there are the sex questions too. You will be in your sexual prime at 30 something, and he'll be 50 something. Think about that one.

          And looking at the numbers some more, when you are 40 something which is still very young for a woman since they live longer, he'll be 60 something and possibly start acquiring health problemas, do you want to be like a nurse taking care of him? And also, another thing my good girlfriend reminded me regarding men more than 10 years older, when he is not working as much due to sickness or retirement, girlfriend you'll be THE ONE having to work and support him and the household and bring home all the bacon!


          One last thing to find out. Are all his girlfriends your age? If that is the case then I hate to say this seems to me he definitely has a maturity problem or he likes to be able to dominate very young girls and feel superior, etc.

          To me personally, it is always nice if the male love interest is between 2 and 8 years older than the woman. At least two, and just under 10. To me that is perfect, you are more on the same wavelength physically and mentally also!

          Good luck and think hard about these things. I am happy to point them out because too often after months of hurt and pain, we think of what we SHOULD HAVE LOOKED INTO OR THOUGHT ABOUT, but then it is too late!






          Locotel,
          gracias por tu feedback...te dire que estoy un poco triste y preocupada porque Este chico se fue a Texas por asuntos de trabajos por una semana. Si fuera una reunion de negocios no estuviera tan preocupada. Es que el tiene una buena profession pero pone su vida en peligro todo el tiempo...sabes a lo que me refiero?...si no email me at wepababy22@aol.com....

          Cada dia que pasa lo extraño mas y mas. referente a tus comentarios...a que estuviera segura que el no es casado..y porque no lo ha hecho..etc...te dire en simples terminos.....su trabajo no le ha permitido hacerlo... A el lo conoci atravez de una amiga de la familia que lo conoce a el desde niños. Este chico ha tenido miedo de acercarse a alguin ya que el era muy cercano a sus padres y los dos murieron en el mismo año dejandolo solo ya que el es el unico hijo....no tiene hermanos. Tiene familiares que viven lejos y lo buscan por interes en su fortuna....El es un hombre que a la edad de 39 ha tenido exito en su profession algo que el ama......Bueno tengo que marcharme ahora...espero tu respuesta... Cuidate and have a good weekend!


          WepaBaby ;o)











          Comment


          • #6
            wepaBaby

            I'm going through the same thing i like this older
            but i have a boyfriend and he's nice but This guy is like
            he would like die for me or something.
            The why i see it is if which ever one makes you feel better
            as a person is the one you sould be with.
            i'm 20,21 in 2 days and he's 33 He respects me not saying my man don't but i feel better with the 33 year old!
            So thats who i'm gonna be with!

            one love:PR-princess69

            Comment


            • #7
              Hola Wepa Y Princess,

              Just a little advice from a person who has been there. I always dated older men and found out that "some" were just sporten the beautiful young lady on their arm. In the experience that I had it made him feel young again and it was like he was just showing me off. I didnt want to be a piece of property that only made him feel good when we were around his friends. Im not saying that this is what your guy is feeling, but at most times men feel "cool" sporting a young lady rather than a women more his age. Of course he will treat you well, make you feel like a queen. You just need to learn how to keep the spark going because you will adventually reach his age too, and then he will be much older than when you first met, and then you will be checking yourself. Becareful with his intentions. Make him understand that you are in the relationship for love and security, not just fun and games and that you want to remain an INDIVIDUAL in some ways. I adventually settled down with a younger man (5yrs younger) and found that it is much easier to be myself rather than to try and live up to expectations of an older man. Im not saying that older men are not the ticket for there are some really nice ones out there, just becareful and know what you want from a relationship. Evelyn

              Comment


              • #8
                Just a little input

                Wepa,

                Although, I am a man, maybe I can shed some light or a perspective from a man view. I noticed that some of the comments were all female, some added or compared hispanics with white, some even included economics stability, and some even had similar situations.

                I only recommend to you to be patient, seek this gentleman true intentions and your true intention toward him. They will eventually showup. Meet and know his friends and family, that will give you a better view and clues of him and his past. Listen to your heart first, then your happiness along with him in a long relationship, put thing in perspective, analize, and be truthful on your decision. Do not worry about materialistic, money, age and race profile, since those priorities will mislead you. Meditate and speak to your Creator if still unsettled. Your life time happiness is first, even if death keep you apart pleasent and quality time with a real Love partner will last forever, memories never die. I will be despicable and hipocrite even disrespectful if you choose a man for his race, social acceptance, money, age, and even for external beauty.

                Comment

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