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  • Child support

    I recently found out that my husband had a child with a woman in Puerto Rico, before we were married (but we dated at the tilme....). He failed to inform me of this and now I am trying to understand the mess he put me and our small children in, namely the outrageous amount of money this woman is demanding from him. According to him, he never acknowledged the child officially, but the mother gave the child his last name and filed for child support. He was not aware of the request until he had to renew his driver's license. Instead of trying to establish paternity via DNA testing, he agreed to pay the amount they both agreend upon. However, the mother has since demanded a significantly larger sum, which the court approved. Even the lawyer said how this amount is unreasonable.

    1. I would like to know if he can still ask for paternity test or did he miss that opportunity.
    2. Does the court take into account our two children when assigning the amount of child support? Because based on the amount he has to pay, I would say that our children are getting short-changed. If the court does not take them into account, what is my best course of action? Legal separation? Divorce? We live in a state that has a very high cost of living....
    3. Will the court take my income into account when determining how much he needs to pay?

    I already feel cheated and deceived by him for not disclosing this to me before we got married and had children, and now this is like adding insult to injury!

    Any information would be welcomed.

  • #2
    Child Support

    [FONT="Arial"]Hello- based on my own experience with my older son here are my thoughts.

    1. I would like to know if he can still ask for paternity test or did he miss that opportunity.

    Maybe, the court may consider termination depending on length of time that has passed since the initial court order. The rules vary from state to state but there are many non biological parents who have been deceived or voluntarily agreed to support a child and the support order becomes permanent. Google "child support" and the state the child lives in to further research it.

    2. Does the court take into account our two children when assigning the amount of child support? Because based on the amount he has to pay, I would say that our children are getting short-changed. If the court does not take them into account, what is my best course of action? Legal separation? Divorce? We live in a state that has a very high cost of living....

    Generally yes! Every state has a formula that is supposed to provide a just balance for all children. Generally if a party is aggrieved an feels the balance is unjust, the party has to request a hearing and present a case. A judge can order an adjustment in payments for good cause. This I recognize is A very difficult task, but this is really the only avenue in most cases.

    3. Will the court take my income into account when determining how much he needs to pay?

    Yes, they do when unrelated children are included in the calculation of the support.

    I also recognize how emotional and stressful this can be and quite frankly it is easy to conclude that the COURTS have become no more than fancy obligation collection agencies that do not seemingly really cares what happens to the children. Example what happens when an ex takes the child support money ad buys cocaine or Gucci Bags or goes to Las Vegas or any number of abusive things, how does the court advocate for the kid. Answer -they don't. The aggrieved has to file a motion in court to bring the abuse to the attention of the court, or call child protection services or take other actions.

    Sorry for your experience, best to you, Angel in New Jersey

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    • #3
      Fiirst of all, there are no father-less ( Bastard) children in Puerto Rico because Puerto Rican law states that the father's surname MUST be on the birth certificate, no if's or buts. At one time, long ago, the legitimate wife had to be consulted but since Muñoz Marín had his daughters out of wedlock the law was changed. Therfore there are no bastard children in Puerto Rico.

      One can have a paternity test, DNA, to prove if the child is your husbands or not. But since the paternity was never challenged at birth most courts don't see taking over child support and dropping the person who accepted the child since birth.

      I know of a case similar to yours. Father never was sure if the child was his. After many years of support he got a DNA test which finally proved parenthood. His wife refused to accept the results saying it was a conspiracy between the court and the child's mother. Wife insists on another DNA test but in the U.S.

      Puerto Rican law makes the father responsible for the sustenance of the child, however if father losses his job, and his wife is employed, the wife has to continue support payments. If both are unemployed its the parents of the husband who are held responsible. Sounds ludicrous but thats how things are work there

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      • #4
        Thanks

        First, thank you for your responses!

        For clarification purposes: The child in question lives in Puerto Rico, and we don't.

        There are now new developments in the case! Since my husband has not been working and therefore does not have any income coming, he has not been paying the child support! He wrote to the court in Puerto Rico asking for payment adjustments and finally got a response that his case was now an intrastate case. He met with his attorney who assured him that regardless of what he does or doesn't do, I would not be held liable for his child care payments (contrary to what I have read and what person who replied about it said)! So, now I have confilcting information. Also, what does intrastate case mean?

        Also, the same woman has another daughter by a different man and also collects child support from him. To make things even more insane, my husband was paying for the health insurance for all three of them!!!!! He is not doing that any more!

        Would legal separation release me from a requirement to pay child support, should that end up being the case? At this point I am so upset (don't want to use the word describing how I really feel out of respect) that I am considering a divorce too. I was dragged into this situation unknowingly, and there is no way I am paying for it! Nor will my children. I figure, if I am divorced, he will have to pay child support to me as well and that way our kids will not be short changed! He has always been so regulating and we have always lived well below our means and I am getting really tired of it. But I am getting off subject...Sorry!

        Thanks again!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Skocica View Post
          First, thank you for your responses!

          For clarification purposes: The child in question lives in Puerto Rico, and we don't.

          There are now new developments in the case! Since my husband has not been working and therefore does not have any income coming, he has not been paying the child support! He wrote to the court in Puerto Rico asking for payment adjustments and finally got a response that his case was now an intrastate case. He met with his attorney who assured him that regardless of what he does or doesn't do, I would not be held liable for his child care payments (contrary to what I have read and what person who replied about it said)! So, now I have confilcting information. Also, what does intrastate case mean?

          Also, the same woman has another daughter by a different man and also collects child support from him. To make things even more insane, my husband was paying for the health insurance for all three of them!!!!! He is not doing that any more!

          Would legal separation release me from a requirement to pay child support, should that end up being the case? At this point I am so upset (don't want to use the word describing how I really feel out of respect) that I am considering a divorce too. I was dragged into this situation unknowingly, and there is no way I am paying for it! Nor will my children. I figure, if I am divorced, he will have to pay child support to me as well and that way our kids will not be short changed! He has always been so regulating and we have always lived well below our means and I am getting really tired of it. But I am getting off subject...Sorry!

          Thanks again!
          If you don't live in Puerto Rico you won't be responsible, however your husband might be morally responsible for his child only until he's 18.

          About divorce , thats always your call, however if your're not miserable in a relationship and only have the normal ups and downs, I'd weather this out because it will pass.

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